Voyeurism
by Michellevee
Summary: Bella is finding it difficult to sleep. Edward has a few things to say about that. Rated M for Vampy Romps.
1. Voyeurism

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, nada, zilch… **

**A/N: OK so this very naughty, very wordy, idea sprung up in my very naughty very wordy mind and because I could not sleep I had to write it down. Maybe I will refer to Bella's method of sleep deprivation cures in the future… lol *sighs* if only. I am pretty sure that this is my first story up here – I'm not sure I can't remember – but I have stuff dotted around the internet world too. I don't normally write "fanfiction" but I just couldn't help my(dirty little)self!**

**The story itself is pretty much all over the place but I just wrote down what fell out of my fingers. I think I was listening to some pretty random drum n bass so that's probably why too. The timeline is not strictly exact either but w/e! ("Excuses, Excuses" I hear you chime?)**

**Anyway soooooo please let me know what you think, my grammar is pretty appalling but I am over it. **

**Could be a oneshot but I am interested in carrying it on… maybe (uni and wor permitting obv.)**

**Ok right my A/N are almost as long at the story so I am going to let you read on with some spectacularly splendid parting words:**

**Enjoy x**

**BPOV**

My laptop clicked closed with a thud. To be honest I probably closed it harder than was strictly necessary. Another restless night, sleep evading me as usual, spent searching the internet for some sort of answer. Of course I begrudgingly knew that there was only one person who could give me the kind of answers that I was looking for. One _person._

I sighed turning onto my right side. In doing so the duvet hitched slightly and my bare thigh lay exposed to the cool night air of my bedroom. I gasped at the sudden change in temperature and dragged the blanket around myself tightly. I curled up into a ball and scrunched my eyes shut, willing the lazy haze of sleep to drag me off into my carefree _person_ filled dreams.

It didn't work.

Too much.

Too much information swirling around in my head. Too many stupid in inane thoughts begging to be thought.

I sighed again and opened my eyes staring at my all too familiar cracked white ceiling. I guess real life thoughts would just have to take the place of the dream filled slumber I so violently craved, for the sixth night in a row.

**EPOV**

Why didn't she sleep? I could smell the sun, I could smell it ages before it rose, but my innate vampire senses knew that it was merely hours away. She hadn't slept a sound night for six days now. I was livid.

When I first start visiting her, whilst she slept, I told myself that I was simply watching over her. I couldn't stand the thought that there were hours in the night that she spent alone, facing unknown horrors. I told myself that I was protecting her from the hypothetical monsters that tortured my mind. In no way was I being voyeuristic, in no way was I craving silent hours where I could glance on her luscious form, enthusiastically undisturbed. I told myself that I was being a gentleman, her vampire angel I had mused. That was until I heard my name, almost a moan, escape from her subconscious and delectably supple mouth. I yearned.

My desire to protect her replaced, almost immediately (and some might say inevitably), with a desire to know more. I needed to know what that had meant. She was dreaming of me. Her silent beautiful and curious mind was dreaming of me, which, in truth, was why I kept coming back. I realised that, in her dreams, I not only lived but I often played a starring role.

Sometimes her expression was strained and almost painful and other times, those glorious other times, she would be peaceful; happy almost. In her dreams, I got a snapshot glimpse into her closed mind. Some nights I raged that she was falling for me. Some nights it made me so angry that she would want me, knowing that there was something not wholly right about me. Although, the reason it made me so angry was because at the end of the night it always made me joyously happy.

Every morning when I left her room, I would look back towards her sleeping form and drink in the beauty that lay before me. Knowing I was already leaving I would often entertain quick split second thoughts about what it would be like to lay on that bed with her. Holding her form so close to me, feeling her body heat pressed up against me, her scent burning me and intoxicating me all night long. I craved that goodbye moment just as much as I longed to know the silent workings of her mind.

So I asked myself again, _why was she not sleeping?_ I stood lifeless in the forest opposite her house. I could hear shallow rhythmic snoring from the houses nearby, but I tuned them all out to focus solely upon her signature breathing, her rhythmic heartbeat.

I needed to be up in that room. I had grown so accustomed to my routine of watching her sleep, uttering my name and my strange addiction to my devilishly sordid mind's farewell parting from her perfect body. Yet she tortured me, lying awake, night after night, I wanted to know what was keeping her from a restful slumber. I needed to know. I had gone six days without my addiction and I was suddenly feeling like a jumped up junkie willing to do anything for my next fix. Like a moth to the flame.

_It wouldn't harm anyone, too much, to take a closer look._ I reasoned with myself. Perhaps she was frantically finishing some assignment for school, or she was caught up in a novel that she could not put down, or maybe it was just something else entirely. It was the _not _knowing that made me take my first human paced step out of the invisible brush and onto the road. I would edge closely, slowly – so as not to drown out the sounds of her breathing and heartbeat, just in case there was any sudden change.

**BPOV**

The night was drawing on, tediously, and I realised that I had perhaps gotten to the point where I had just forgotten how to sleep. As if in my life being so tremendously saved that day I had to sacrifice a part of myself. As if it was a bargain with some impish little fate devils who had come to collect and never been paid. I shook my head. The early hours of the morning was when my sillier thoughts decided to make themselves slightly more pronounced. I indulged in crazily absurd and often supernatural fantasies, my hyperactive and exhausted brain going into ultimate over drive.

4.00am

The digital clock display taunted me with its eerily red lights and the little flashing LED in the corner that told me that my alarm was set for three hours time. Great.

I decided that if I was going to be awake all night I may as well do something useful with my time instead of lying here like a lifeless dead body. But before I could reach over to my night stand to grab my dishevelled copy of _Wuthering Heights_ I heard a faint noise from outside my window. I wasn't like any other noise you would expect from the night time air of sleepy Forks. It almost sounded like a groan, no a growl, a guttural and low growl. It was however, a sound that I strangely and unknowingly recognised.

The hairs on my arms rose in … anticipation? And I dragged my tired body over to the window and moved my old yellowed curtains to the side. There was nothing there, just my 4.00am mind playing fantastical tricks on me again.

I collapsed back down onto my bed and closed my eyes. I knew all too well that I was not closing my eyes because sleep had finally decided to give me a beautiful gift. No, this was a different kind of slumber; these were my live action fantasies playing out in slow motion behind my fluttered lids. Sometimes when I was dreaming, the dreams would feel so real that I felt like he was there in the room with me playing out the intolerably lewd scenes. I recognised that growl from my subconscious. A sound he had made when my lips had spoken his name in the throes of a passionate embrace.

My tongue darted out between my lips and moistened the velvety and cracked flesh. I let my mind wander, as I often did, back to that day when he had saved me. His body so close to mine pressed hard and flush against me. I hadn't failed to notice, in the chaos of the actual event itself, just how perfectly right he had felt against me; cold and solid, yet unbelievably safe and … sensuous.

I could feel the familiar flush cover my skin as my breathing transformed into a heady pant and I could feel my own heart race at the very thought of his eyes boring into my own. His magical golden eyes, so soulful and mysterious felt like they lit me on fire. Every nerve in my body ached to be set aflame by his unyielding and meticulous gaze.

I felt my warm hands begin to tickle the flesh of my own hip just above the cut of my sweats, lazily tracing circles around the lower half of my stomach, gliding effortlessly backwards and forwards as I imagined that it was his hand that caressed me so lovingly, so teasingly.

I left my right hand to continue his imaginary ministrations upon my bare skin as my left hand came up to lightly cup my own breast and tweak my hardening nipple through the thin fabric of my blue vest top.

My breathing hitched as I let a small moan escape my lips and then it faltered again as my right hand edged closer to the band of my trouser bottoms and delved into my warm and insatiably wet vagina. I moaned '_Edward' _into the stale, empty air of my bedroom.

**EPOV**

I silently climbed the tree closest to her bedroom window and expertly moved towards the end of a branch that would give me the best view through the crack in her yellow curtains. It wasn't like I hadn't done this a thousand times before. Hell, I was practically a pro at stalking the object of my undying, unyielding and unbidden affection. If I wasn't a monster beforehand I most surely was now.

I just wanted to see if she was ok. If she didn't need my help in any way shape or form I would leave now and never come back? Well at least not until she was sleeping again.

I could see her clearly, well not as clearly as I would have liked but clear enough to make the assumption that she was not frantically trying to finish off an assignment, she was not nose deep in her favourite book, in fact there was no reason whatsoever for her refraining from sleep.

She simply lay in the dark eyes open staring at the ceiling. She surely was trying to torture me. I growled low in my throat, barely audible, but ever the far too observant curious mind, she raised her head towards the window. I darted quickly to the back of the tree invisible to her in the dormant night time, but not too far back so that my vision of her was obscured.

She opened the curtain wide and looked into the black night. The moon's light bounced of her skin and created ethereal patterns across her face. She truly was a goddess sent to taunt me. Her absolute loveliness was not sullied by her lack of sleep; in fact it only made her lovelier, if that was at all possible.

A small part of me rejoiced at seeing her awake and fully aware at this most criminal hour. A time of the night I usually watched her sleep. It was refreshing to see her parallel me in the darkness. Her skin so soft and unique yet in this light its appearance looked no different from mine. She made me feel normal, she made me feel human. This was a time of the night when she should be sleeping, it felt almost forbidden to watch her fully aware face take in the night's sky.

She turned away from the window leaving the curtain slightly more ajar than before satiating my need to see more of her. She flopped down heavily onto her bed and she closed her eyes. I knew that she would not sleep. Her eyelids flickered too sensitively for sleep to welcome her now. A smile graced her lips and her brow furrowed and relaxed. _What was she thinking?_

Just as I was about to edge closer to the window her small pink tongue darted out from her mouth and wet the perfect roundness of her delectable lips. I stopped my in my tracks. I had never seen anything so beautiful, so adorable and so sexual; I felt a familiar fire burn from my throat and swirl deep into my stomach as I imagined what it would be like to lick those lips, just to taste her sweet skin, her saccharine breath coating my face.

The thought made the fire in my stomach twist and turn as if trying to propel me forwards. Is if urging me on, to take what I so desperately wanted and needed from this perfect girl. My perfect girl.

It was in that moment that my vision clouded over and a new sensation, or the same sensation enhanced ten fold, took over my body. I saw her hand snake down her flawless frame towards the bare skin between her pyjama top and sweat pant bottoms. There she began to trace circles upon her hot skin; the beautiful blush that I loved so much covered her entire body.

It made this new sensation, this anticipating tingling sensation edge me as close as I could get to the window, so much so my face was nearly pressed against the glass. I felt hazy, almost drunk, as I watched her stroke her stomach back and forth, it was hypnotic. All my voyeurism qualms aside, this was quite possibly the best thing I had ever seen.

That was until her right hand rose up towards her chest and she gently cupped her own breast and pinched her nipple through the fabric letting out an unconscious hiss.

Her breathing was ragged and her heart raced impossibly fast.

She moaned loudly, her beautiful lips falling apart and her head titled back ever so slightly.

I felt almost guilty watching this fantastic display unfold before me, yet somehow I could not tear myself away. The fire moved straight to my groin and I could easily identify this new sensation. It was lust, love, jealousy, intrigue and shame all wrapped up into a confusing bundle of nerves making me harder than I ever thought possible.

It was then that the lazy hand that I wished was mine began to travel towards the waistband of her bottoms and disappeared into the depths that I longed and pleaded to explore. The sudden smell of her arousal mixed with her already succulent and luscious scent hit me like a sledge hammer to the gut.

I snarled breathlessly and had to grip onto the window frame to stop myself from smashing through the glass. I gripped so hard that the flimsy wood dissolved beneath my vampiric touch. The shavings scattered slowly down towards the grassy bank beneath me and littered the earth with evidence of my shameful spying.

She didn't hear any of this. She was so wrapped up in her own thoughts and her achingly slow ministrations on her own body. I wondered briefly why she tortured herself this way because I knew how much her slow pace was torturing me.

I glanced quickly up towards her face, her fluttering eyelids, tilted head and slightly open mouth answered my question. Whatever she was thinking about she was utterly and wholly enjoying the image. It seemed that she was meticulously and cautiously considering specific details as she lushly masturbated herself into, what seemed like, oblivion.

She hissed quietly, inaudibly and then moaned _'Edward'_. It was an intense, subtle and beautiful sound that escaped her lips.

I stood dumfounded. As still as my vampire ability would allow me, I was afraid that if I moved, if a made a noise this impossible dream would be just that. I would be alone lost in fantasy and nothing that had transpired this night would have actually happened. I didn't know what to do.

It was enticing and exciting enough that she dreamt about me in her sleep, but to watch her touch herself in her most scrumptiously intimate of places whilst consciously thinking of me made my hips buck involuntarily.

My Bella, my beautiful, impossible angel, I didn't think that I could love her anymore than in that moment. It dawned on me that in my quest and journey to love this girl, prior to this night, I had never really let myself want her, lust for her. Of course I had entertained fantasies, but nothing could have prepared me for the very real fact that she had fantasies too. Not only that but she unashamedly acted upon them, she almost rejoiced in the idea that, figuratively I was there, touching her in the way that she wanted to be touched by me. The thought of that drove me wild with hunger, my new lustful, wanton hunger.

I was soon dragged lovingly from my thoughts as I heard her moan again.

'_Mmmm… Edward.' _I growled at this, _'Yes'_ she sang _'Oh, yes… oh fuck yes.'_ She shouted obviously not caring about the sleeping form of her father in the next room, this fact made the whole show that much more arousing.

I growled louder, loud enough for her to hear, but she didn't falter, she only sped up the furious rubbing of her clitoris, I yearned to grab her sensitive nub between my teeth and suck hard until she bucked manically against my face. _'Oh my god, Edward, d-d-don't stop.' _I longed to drink the juices of her arousal; I imagined it tasting that much sweeter than her sticky warm blood. And I suddenly needed it more than I had ever needed anything in the world.

**BPOV**

My frantic rubbing, tweaking, nipping and flicking at my throbbing clitoris, was intensified by the tweaking nipping and flicking that I now replicated on my clothed eager breasts. My wet nectar pooled into my hand and dripped onto the underside of my pyjama bottoms as I carried on the achingly beautiful feeling of imagining Edward bringing me to the most unadulterated climax.

I could feel a sticky sheen of sweat coat my body. My breathing was rapid and out of rhythm as I yelled profanities and his sweet, sweet name into the lonely night.

Although, the night was not as lonely as I had initially thought. I couldn't tell if it was my overactive, arousal induced imagination but I felt his very _real_ presence watching me, urging me to fulfil my own need, spurring me on with his growls of motivation.

I was then not surprised when I felt a cool hand slide up my inner calf and to the waistband of my sweats pulling them down, releasing my hot need into the cool air. I was not surprised to feel his icy lips press themselves to my thighs, licking and nipping and nudging my legs wider apart. I was not surprised when I felt his nose edge my hand out of the way and his sharp tongue lick languorously over my clitoris. And I certainly was not surprised when he let out that familiar guttural growl as my juice flowed freely into his mouth.

I was surprised however at the sheer euphoric state that his perfectly timed licks and stabs created within my entire being. His hands came up to grip my waist lightly and lovingly, but the added pressure of skin to skin contact sent electricity bolts towards my stomach, curling up and enticing the ever growing presence of my soon to be otherworldly orgasm.

The pressure built up and built up until I thought that I couldn't stand the feeling any longer. Then he expertly inserted two fingers into my warm and pleading passage. My eyes rolled back in my head and my whole back arched up of the bed as I began to jerk and spasm at this new feeling, this complete feeling.

My laboured breathing became ridiculously more erratic as his licking, sucking and prodding became too much. I instinctively threw my arm across my mouth and bit down hard to stifle the unrelenting screams that rocked through my body as the final achingly slow curve and jolt of his fingers inside me sent me over the edge.

My orgasm shot through me shock after tremor after blissful shattering shock. My body twanged, and spluttered and convulsed. It was the most intense, extreme and severe feeling I had ever had course through my body and the small aftershocks as he lapped up the extra wetness sent small electrical tremors to my already painstakingly wonderful orgasm. I could die happy in this moment.

Then he moved, shifting, somewhat awkwardly, shy even, towards my half naked body. He rested his head against my stomach, his breathing almost unfathomably fast as mine. He rose up off his feet and I felt a pang of hurt at the loss of contact only to be satiated momentarily by his strong form resting on top of me. He shook off his jacket and kicked off his shoes all the while sucking and kissing my neckline up to my jaw and finally pausing on my lips. He almost apprehensively savoured the moment as if he wanted to remember it forever.

I could taste my spicy, heady arousal on his shining lips and it only added to my want for him. It was then that I realised that I had not opened my eyes since I felt his hand brush my calf. Although I knew without a doubt, unquestioningly, that it was Edward, my Edward, lying on top of my dishevelled form, I still warily opened my eyes, afraid that I might somehow break the spell. But I had to see him, I had to take in his lusty aroused face and imprint it on my memory forever.

**EPOV**

I didn't know what I was doing as I unconsciously opened the window, slid silently into the room. The need to taste her, to drink her and to lose myself within her sheathed folds was an unrelenting force that didn't really take me by surprise.

It did take me by surprise that she willingly opened her legs to me, welcoming my hands on her hips as I pulled down her pyjama bottoms. I hadn't really thought passed entering the room and here she was opening herself up to me without ever opening her eyes, was I really that obvious? Was I so lacking in stealth that she had known I was there all along? I quite frankly didn't much care at this point in time as her glistening centre was laid out before me.

I gorged on my meal, her taste was better than her scent, musky honeyed droplets of arousal poured down my eager and burning throat, mixing with the sweet venom that pooled in the corners of my mouth. The sensation was unlike anything I could have ever imagined, the taste unlike anything I could justifiably compare it to.

But her moans, her moans were what drove me crazy. Her delicate voice so heavy and throaty her naturally inhibited nature lost and vanished in the moment. My erection pained throbbed and begged for me to release it from its cage. I denied it, naturally, enjoying the feeling of wanting her so bad.

I realized, that like with so many other things, I was a natural, a fast learner, my supernatural memory allowed my to specify exactly which particular fervent swoops of my tongue elicited which moans.

My hands on her bare hips were something I was also unprepared for. I did not know that steadying myself against her and trying to keep from melting into her glorious passage would be so erotically charged. I felt the bolts of electricity as my skin touched hers. It sent a new ache to my pulsating groin.

I lost all sense of time, I lost all sense of space and being, I was so involved in nurturing her release, I did not think about it when I slammed my long capable fingers into her untouched entry way, memorizing the feel of her fleshy wall against my tortured skin.

The whole orgasm thing was relatively new to me so I played it by ear. Swirling my tongue around her perfect nub, feeling it pulse against me was something I was also taking a mental note of. For future reference.

I repeated my actions, I could never get tired of giving her this pleasure as she moaned and bucked and writhed against my face as a sucked nibbled on her clitoris. I twirled my fingers deeper inside of her and I knew that she was close, one more flick of my fingers and she would be tipped over the edge.

As she came in the most beautiful and perfect way I had never felt so amazingly happy and ashamedly disgusted with myself. I lapped away the flowing juices of her orgasm and sighed into her allowing her to come back to reality. I rested my head on her stomach contemplating my next move.

_How could I have done this? I so callously intruded on her most private moment. _

_How could I have lost my very essence, my composure and my restraint?_

_How could she have just let me do that to her, no questions and no hesitations? _

_I should leave, never come back and let her think that this was all part of her fantasy. I would never see her again, that would be my punishment for spying on her and selfishly taking what I wanted. _

I rose to my feet fully intending on darting from the room, leaving her alone in her blissful state. I didn't understand how she could've so easily given herself over to me, without fully knowing all the answers to her questions. She had no idea what kind of monster I was, that I had maimed and killed and tortured. She had no idea that I so ruthlessly wanted to maim and kill and torture her the first time her blood sang to me. I supposed that it was the same as me having so easily given myself over to her.

As I looked upon her half naked body, limp and sated and so exquisite, my split second vampire reflexes fought an internal battle. I knew I could never kill this girl, perhaps I had known it all along, she was absolutely divine. If I left now, she would have no one to protect her and no one to watch over her while she was sleeping. My relentless selfish side won out, the draw I felt to her too powerful to ignore.

I rested my hard heavy body lightly on her delicate frame; it was as if she had not even known its absence. There would need to be a conversation about all of this, I would inevitably have to share my darkest secrets with her because I… wanted her. I wanted to keep her, knowing her taste and the extent of her powerful feelings for me I knew that she was mine and I was hers. In this moment, as I kissed the nape of her neck up towards her jaw and softly resting upon her gorgeous lips, it was all that mattered. My sweet breath hovered over her face, stunning her for a while as a pressed my lips firmer to hers. My first kiss, my first love and my forever.

**A/N: Gosh that Edward is a wordy *cough*randy*cough* so and so isn't he.....?**


	2. Espionage

**Disclaimer: I own my flat and everything in it. Nothing else.**

**A/N: Right well, here is part two- the same warnings that applied to part one apply to this one too, bad grammar, erratic timeline yadda, yadda, yadda. **

**Unfortunately I had to revise today so it is about 2,000 words shorter than part one. Which is probably a good thing because it gets a bit too talky talky and angsty towards the end.**

**Also it is definitely not as lemony as the previous part buuuuuttttt, there are inevitably more lemons to come. Because lets face it – Edward equals hornyness which equals lemons - and I am just far too dirty minded not to write vicarious Edward and Bella sexy time. **

**I have taken liberties with the characters. Not to the extent that they are completely OOC but some readers may feel that certain things said would definitely not have been said by Edward or Bella. Just roll with it that's what I say. They will inevitably become more OOC as the chapters go on and I veer completely of course. I have a pretty good idea about where this is all going but as always your suggestions are perfectly welcome and appreciated! **

**Oh god, I am such a blabbermouth.**

**Apologies over Bella as well- she is totally hopeless- I love that girl! **

**BPOV**

I looked into his eyes.

I stared longingly into the flashing blaze of his golden orbs.

There was so much passion, so much excitement and so much… love?

He shared my gaze tickling my cheek with light feather touches of his flawless fingers, laughing as he did so. His smile was sweet and shy but the flash of his bright white teeth told his adorable smile was happy.

This made me happy too.

I could feel his hard excitement pressing into my stomach as he moved again. I ground my hips in a circular motion against his groin and he moaned. It was an exquisite sound. I repeated the action and his head fell to my ear where he whispered _'Bella,'_ a hint of caution in his dulcet voice.

He raised his head and began kissing me once more; I naturally closed my eyes again.

His passionate kiss chilled my lips, my cheeks, my chin and my jaw, and at the same time; an inferno was awoken within me. It was a scorching, carelessly stimulating fire buried deep within the very essence of who I was. The sensation of the cold and warmth mixed together was undeniably erotic.

His skin was cold and hard, his icy hands grabbing my hair in a frenzied rhythm. He tugged me vigorously and violently towards his closed lips. I couldn't get enough of him. I ground my hips into his hardness again. Another fantastic moan escaped his lips and sent vibrations throughout my body.

I realised then that the whole occurrence was so charged in voracious desire and our anger from the last conversation we'd had over six days ago now. _I hope you enjoy disappointment_ I remembered him saying. Well, if this was disappointment then I certainly enjoyed it a lot more than I thought I would.

My nails raked down his shirt covered back and I struggled to breathe. Instead I opted to suck in the sweet confectionary that was his breath. He left me gasping, panting and wilted from exhaustion.

The exhaustion was out of wanting and needing his lips to part, just ever so slightly, so that I could massage my tongue with his and explore the inner wonder of his amazing mouth. It seemed that he was content with the ardently chaste kisses for now. Although quite breathtakingly astonishing, they left me wanting and needing more.

I felt him stop and shift off me slightly, so that he was lying next to me on the bed. He stroked my arm up and down and incredibly swept the duvet out from under me to place it over my half naked body quick and fast. Blink and you'll miss it.

Even the cold trail of his fingers against my sizzling arm was enough to make me moan. _'Mmmm… Edward,'_ I sighed as I opened my eyes again.

He smiled; his smile.

The air, no longer stale and empty, felt electric. I could stare into his hot, fiery eyes for the rest of my life. I shifted onto my side, mirroring his position, I opened my mouth as if to talk and suddenly felt very self conscious, embarrassed and almost humiliated at my actions. I squirmed uncomfortably; as if I was going to run from the room, escape to somewhere a little less mortifying.

I turned my head away from him as I could feel the tears start to sting my eyes. _What must he think of me? _I had never done anything like _that_ in my whole life. At the time it had felt like a natural progression of my frustration and confusion over his silent ignorance towards me. I craved a release so intense that it had felt like an instinctive evolution of my mixed up feelings. And when I had felt him brush my calf, my mind so euphoric, had accepted and perhaps expected it, so intrinsically.

'_Bella?'_ He whispered my name questioningly and the sound washed over my like a safety blanket. I felt his hand on my cheek turning me back to face him. _'Are you crying?'_ He looked about as nervous as I was, if not more so. _'I'm horrified'_ I replied, somewhat cryptically.

**EPOV**

She was horrified.

I had made her cry.

I was a monster.

A horrifying disgusting monster.

I should have left, I should have disappeared. I should never have even come here in the first place. It was selfish, I was selfish and pathetic.

Her flawless face was contorted in revulsion and the hurt I felt in that moment was forceful and extreme. On the one hand I wanted to rid her of my presence but on the other hand I wanted to explain my actions. Tell her everything and try to justify my sickening spying. I couldn't abide the thought that she thought of me as a revolting fiend preying on her innocence. I was selfish and pathetic.

'_Oh god'_ I choked out and sat up and put my face in the palms of my hand, scrunching my fists as I did so, not escaping the fact that I could still smell her all over me, all over my hands. I inhaled strongly basking in her scent I wanted to lick my fingers and taste her all over again.

The recent events flashed before my eyes, I remembered the feeling as her musky fluids had slid easily down my throat as I sucked her dry. The sensation that I had felt hitting me like lightening when she ground her hips into me, mere moments ago. I could feel my half hardened groin reawaken with full force.

I caught myself quickly, I was pitiless and unfeeling. Disgusting.

'_No'_ I heard her chime, _'I'm not horrified at you.'_ It was like music to my self-centred ears. I felt her hand on my shoulder pulling me back towards my previous position.

She was cocooned in her duvet, shy and timid, her inhibited nature coming back in strides. _'I'm horrified at myself.'_

She was horrified at herself. I felt heartless as relief washed over me. Here she was feeling mortified and I was relieved. Granted I knew that she was just being silly. That she shouldn't feel horrified at herself, she was beautiful and delicate and faultless. Let alone sexy and arousing, I wanted to tell her that tonight had been the single best night of my life, that watching her touch herself had been the single best sight of my life.

'_You did nothing wrong,'_ I thought out loud, stroking her soft, slightly messy hair.

'_I… I… I did __that__ and you were __there__' _

'_Bella, I don't know what to say. I am so sorry, I shouldn't have been anywhere near you or your house. I should have stayed away like I had promised myself, except I didn't – night after night…'_

'_Night after night?' _She interrupted curiously. If only I could know her mind I could tell her exactly what she wanted to hear. She stared at me apprehensively. I could calm her worries and perhaps we could both come out of this unscathed. I had no idea what to tell her – the truth would surely madden her beyond words. She would hate me. I was going in blind.

'_I, well, I sort of…' _Oh god I couldn't do this. I had a pretty good idea that my feelings were reciprocated but what that meant for me and what that meant for her were two very different things.

I would ruin her. I would break her, I could kill her accidentally. She was so fragile. A part of me wanted her to know how dangerous I really was. A part of me wanted her to know everything and that same part of me wanted her to love me in spite of it all. I just had no idea how to tell her.

'_You come here a lot.'_ She said it like a statement rather than a question as if identifying some obvious fact. I looked up towards the ceiling as I could not face the rejection in her face when she discovered my pitiful stalker ways.

'_Yes'_ I replied through gritted teeth. The silence was deafening, it lasted an eternity. I turned my head to look back at her face. She was… smiling? She was waiting for me to carry on. My brow furrowed, it was infuriatingly painful not to hear her thoughts.

'_I am an overprotective man Bella.'_

'_Overprotective?' _

'_Yes, overprotective. I can't stand the thought of you being alone. I can't stand the thought of you being hurt.'_

'_And you think that that is going to happen when I am asleep in bed at night?' _she asked mockingly.

'_You haven't been sleeping.'_ I stated matter-of-factly.

'_You know?'_ Was her weighted reply.

'_You're restless, and I don't know why. You get barely two or three hours sleep every night. I know this… I know this because I usually sit in that chair and watch over you. But I can't do that when you're not asleep. What would you think of me sneaking in here when you are wide awake?' _I laughed at my mirthless joke.

I couldn't understand her expression. It seemed knowing, yet contemplative. I couldn't tell if I had gone too far, told her too much. It was one thing for me to creepily stand outside of her house but it was another thing to have someone you barely know creepily watch you sleep.

I could imagine how it would look to other people; I could imagine how it would look to Bella. I couldn't find the words to justify my actions so that I did not seem horrific and obsessed. I knew I was. But I did not want her to know that. I wanted her to feel safe and loved.

'_Why would you watch me sleep? It can't be very interesting.'_ Her replies always astounded me. I never expected her to say some of the things that she said, but this was definitely up on my "top ten list of things I never expected Bella to say".

'_You are the strangest creature. There are some things I can tell you and some things I really want to tell you but I don't know how to. I want to be honest with you Bella, no, I need to be honest with you, you are taking a lot on faith here and I am not sure that that is the best idea. You need to know everything so that you can fully understand the weight of your decisions.' _And with that she pressed a chaste and tender kiss to my lips.

'_Tell me.' _She whispered against my cheek.

**A/N: Didn't you just blush slightly when Edward moaned? I felt all dizzy when I wrote it. ******


	3. Undercover

**Disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer and I do not own Twilight, or anything else that might have been her beautiful brainchild. **

**A/N: First things first, I wrote this chapter over three nights and because of this it is very stilted and random. A lot happens in this chapter but technically in its storyverse it only moves on about an hour or so. I am too wordy, I have admitted it before and I will admit it again. **

**I was pushing 6,500 words and thought it was about time to edit and post. **

**I think you can call the sexy time in this chapter **_**smut with feelings**_**. I hope that does not disappoint the die hard lemon lickers out there *wink wink*. **

**Future chapters promise to be a bit more hardcore. I just had to get the necessary talky talky out of the way first. **

**Anyway, I am not sure how this chapter turned out, when I hit 5,000 words I was tempted to delete the whole thing and start over, but I didn't. Oh well. **

**Thank you, muchly, for the all wonderful comments. xxx**

**BPOV**

I knew that he told me to be honest.

I knew that he told me to help me understand.

I knew that he told me to save me from getting hurt.

And a small part of me felt that he had told me to scare me. Make sure I was too scared to ever go near him again. _We shouldn't be friends_ I clearly remember him saying. But then again I clearly remember everything he had ever said to me. I had noted it down in my mind's diary so that I could obsess over it when I was alone.

I didn't know all the facts, but I did know that Edward was a Vampire. I was not sure how I was supposed to feel about that. I knew that I was not scared. He had made it plainly obvious that he and his family were different. They only fed off animals.

I did know that I had believed him. Some rational part of my brain had screamed out at me to call him crazy, insane, warped and maybe a little bit psychotic. But that part of me was spectacularly overwhelmed by my absolute trust in what he was saying. The truth.

I had spent six nights desperately trying to figure out how Edward had stopped that van. How the metal had whipped around his arm as if he was putting his hand into butter. And now I knew.

I mentally scoured my brain, searching for all the things that I had learnt about vampires from books and movies. They normally exist within a world where the supernatural is commonplace. My world didn't feel very supernatural at all. Well at least it hadn't until I had moved to Forks, met Edward and his insanely beautiful family.

I began to wonder if other supernatural things existed, if we lowly humans were just too dumb to even notice vampires, what else were we too dumb to notice?

I wanted to ask him what special powers he had. But it sounded like a ridiculous question. I knew he was fast and strong, but surely there must be other things that made him who he was. I suddenly found myself needing to know everything about him. Where he had come from, how he had become a vampire, how he could go out into the sun, how many of them there were and maybe if slayers existed? I inwardly scoffed at that last remark, drawing myself out of my stupidity.

Maybe if he had special powers he had used them on me. I wondered if he had tricked me into having feelings for him, feelings that were so intense I would attempt to… masturbate them out of myself, as if I was some sort of sex starved nymphomaniac. _Oh god _I cringed as I remembered.

I looked towards his expectant face and realised that I had been silent for a long time. I couldn't find the words to explain how I felt when I was not even sure of that myself. His sad eyes bore into me and I was aware that whatever I felt for Edward definitely was not a trick or any form of supernatural power. It couldn't feel more real or more human. It was raw and passionate but at the same time uncorrupted and pure.

I had to speak.

'_You,'_ I faltered and coughed, _'Your eyes, they're like butterscotch tonight.'_

He looked exasperated.

'_Bella, I tell you I'm a vampire and that's all you can say.'_ He sighed.

I stared my best puppy dog stare.

'_I don't know what you want me to say Edward… I knew you were different from the first time I saw you, I knew you were something different when you saved me from that van, I am honestly not that surprised, I am not scared, I am smart enough to know that you are not a bad person. The only thing I really want to know is why me?'_

'_I don't understand. What do you mean 'why me?''_ He looked at me with anguish and confusion etched into his perfect eyes.

'_Why are you overprotective of me? Why do you watch me sleep? Why did you come into my room tonight and blow my mind?' _Ugh, I hadn't, meant to say that last bit.

He swallowed and looked embarrassed.

Taking a big breath of air, that I wasn't sure he needed, he laced his fingers into mine. The first touch since he'd told me and his icy hand made mine feel aflame.

'_I feel… I feel like if I tell you too much you will disappear.'_ He stroked my face with his other hand.

'_I won't, I promise.' _

He laughed, _'Yes, well I suppose if my being a vampire doesn't turn you off then maybe this won't either.' _

He was too right about that. More than he knew. His being a vampire definitely did not turn me off one little bit. In fact it turned me on quite unexpectedly, I felt stupidly flustered thinking about the ways in which his being a vampire could be beneficial. I felt horribly aroused as the various mental pictures pulsed through my brain. My breathing hitched when I felt his thumb brush ever so slightly against the back of my hand, probably just to draw my attention out of my reverie. I remembered I still wanted to know 'why me?'

'_Your scent, your smell, to me, is unlike anything I have ever come across before. It is the most beautiful and enticing smell. It is as though hums to me. No, more than that, I feel like it chants my name over and over, begging me to taste it. I can hear your heartbeat louder than any other heartbeat, so much so that sometimes I feel like mine has started beating again. Other times I can feel the blood moving around your body, hot and sticky and so luscious. I wanted to taste you, devour you from the moment I first smelt you. I wanted to open every vein in your body and suck you dry.'_

Who'd have thought that someone talking about killing me would have got me all hot and bothered? But this was not just _someone_ this was Edward and at this point he could talk about doing anything to me and I would be putty in his stony hands. I had stared at his mouth as it formed words like _enticing _and _sticky _and _devour_ and _suck._ I couldn't help feeling that pulsating throb in my stomach. There was something seriously wrong with me.

'_It wasn't until I realised that I could not read your mind that I felt like I needed to know why. Why your thoughts were so silent.'_

Special power number three, I wanted to know more about it, but I sensed that now was not the right time.

'_The more I spoke to you, the more unusual you were to me; you didn't answer my questions the way I had expected you to. I was so curious to get into your mind; I needed to know what was so different about you. I thought maybe I could do that whilst you slept, as if your unconscious mind would let me in. It didn't but the first night I came here you said my name in your sleep and I knew that I loved you. I knew that I could never harm you or let anything else harm you. I became obsessed over watching you, making sure that you survived the day and the night.'_

The words rang in my ear. _I knew that I loved you_. I felt my breath catch in my throat. I felt like I was going to erupt with the sheer pleasure I got from hearing those words and more so from hearing them repeat themselves over and over in my head. I felt that twinge in my stomach travel lower to the ache between my legs and I could feel my arousal begin to pool there once more. It was the idea of him watching me sleep, it should be wrong and I should be upset. It was neither. In truth I was the exact opposite. And irrationally I was a little jealous, that he had spent time with me without my knowing it or even being aware of his presence. I suddenly felt angry and was drawn out of it immediately as I heard him exhale. _I knew that I loved you. _My heart sang again, irrational thoughts immediately displaced and instantly forgotten.

'_Does that frighten you?' _He asked apprehensively.

'_Frighten me? Of course not!' _

_Frighten me…_ I inwardly scoffed at him.

'_Bella, you are so odd. I tell you I am a vampire and you don't run, I tell you that I am obsessively in love with you and you don't run'_

_Obsessively in love…_ my stomach flipped again.

'_I may as well be a stranger to you, you barely know me at all!' _

'_Oh I think I know you pretty well' _Oops my suggestive thought escaped my mouth and it hung in the air. I seemed to be saying a lot of things that I didn't want to say out loud. I briefly thought that perhaps it was him. His presence and supernatural prowess making me say things I wholeheartedly meant but would have normally been too embarrassed to say them. Oh, well it was out there now. I couldn't take it back. We were silent for a long time. The atmosphere altered somewhat to the deeper more intense feeling of the hour before this one.

'_Bella, what happened earlier; it was a mistake.' _He said breathlessly, obviously noticing the charged air around us as well. Somehow I just did not believe him. _'I should have been able to control myself, I could have hurt you, but your scent overpowered me.'_

'_But you said that my scent was like that all the time for you and you control yourself fine in Biology class, you are controlling yourself just fine now. What was different?' _

'_I didn't just mean your blood Bella.' _

I was confused. What did he mean? If it wasn't my blood what was it?

The realization hit me like a ton of bricks as I remembered my bottom half nakedness and why I was bottom half naked. I cringed again. Something else I also seemed to be doing a lot of lately.

He could smell _me_. My wetness, he'd smelt it and that was what had overpowered him. I was mortified again. I buried my face into my pillow and let out a silent scream.

I felt his finger tuck my hair behind my ears.

'_Don't be embarrassed. It's me who should be embarrassed.'_

I groaned furiously into my pillow. Somehow his knowledge of my embarrassment made it even worse. I could feel my face grow hot and the warmth was stifling.

'_You smelt so sweet, you smelt unashamedly potent, like honey and musk and something spicy all combined to torture me. You should not feel any remorse, whatsoever, at smelling so lusciously edible. I was selfish and I couldn't restrain myself. I am so embarrassed at my lack of self control.' _

I raised my head. Surely he could smell me now. My inner thighs quaked and I suddenly felt quietly confident. I wanted to go back to that moment so badly. I wanted to memorise every feeling; the feeling of him watching me, watching me touch myself whilst I was thinking of him and moaning his name. I was glad that the memory no longer made me cringe, now I yearned for it, I yearned for him to touch me like before. I twisted onto my side again, allowing the duvet to fall under my arm. Maybe I was some sex starved nymphomaniac.

I recognized a look in his eyes as my sudden shift had startled him. My movement had caused him to smell my arousal again.

'_Bella.'_ He breathed cautiously. Almost questioningly.

His hand trailed down to my arm and drew lazy patterns. It seemed as though his eyes had glazed over as he stared at his hand. He looked as though he was concentrating very hard.

And then his eyes met mine.

His kiss was hard and sudden. It was frantic and his cold lips burned mine. They parted slightly and shut almost as quickly as they had opened.

I smirked inwardly and thought gingerly about how I was glad that he did not have very much self control, so far his lack of restraint had been a huge benefit for me.

I traced his bottom lip with my tongue; coating it in my saliva. I bit down and he growled.

'_Stop'_ He pleaded but his continuing kisses told me different. I moved to kiss his jaw and explore his throat; I licked and nipped at him. I stopped at his ear and bit here too. He growled louder this time and flipped himself over so that he was now balanced precariously above me, his body not touching mine except for his lips.

I felt his nose against my throat and he sniffed loudly, in a long line towards my raised chin. It was as though he was taking a long line of cocaine off my body. I felt him shudder as though the drug was taking affect.

'_Please stop me' _he begged between kisses. I don't know what he thought I could do. I think I had already proved that when it came to him I had about as much restraint as a teabag.

I took this opportunity to push him onto his back. His vampire strength aside he probably thought that I was stopping him and therefore welcomed my fragile human force. I wriggled out from underneath the duvet and straddled him, my naked sex was pressing into his hard groin. I rested my hands behind me on his thighs and arched my back as I ground myself into him in a circular motion. I knew my sopping wetness was leaking onto his pristine jeans and I really didn't care. I felt like I was marking him. Marking my territory.

I threw my head back as I increased the friction. I whimpered and he moaned.

**EPOV**

It was bliss.

Pure, unadulterated, bliss.

She needed to stop me now. She needed to stop what she was doing and make me leave. I couldn't do it myself. I couldn't bring myself to leave her not when she was tempting me so much. This could not and would not go any further. She pressed herself into me again. Her head tilted back. She looked like an angel. And she smelt even better.

I hissed.

Her position changed slightly and she placed the palms of her hands flat on my chest, her ass jutted out and instead of a circular motion she began a forward backward motion. The new position was harder, more brutal as the friction was increased. I lost control of my senses again. It was just me and her riding this out to some unknown conclusion. I knew that there was something I should be thinking about, something I should be doing, or not doing. I racked my brain for the slightest reminder – Bella whimpered – I could not even remember my name let alone specific details.

My hips started moving in time with hers. Her head snapped up and her eyes locked with mine.

We carried on like that for what seemed like an immeasurable moment. Her scent was even more intoxicating than I remembered. Her cheeks were flushed and I could tell that her hot blood had sped quickly to the surface of her skin.

My erection ached against the prison of my trousers. I needed her more than I ever thought that I would. I needed her to never stop moving above me. My hands found their way to her hips to fix her in place and her skin lit me on fire. Her indescribable warmth flowed through my hands. I sat up and wrapped my arms around her waist. She yelped at the sudden change in position and pressure.

I licked her collarbone all the while still moving in time with her. The feeling was unlike anything I could have ever imagined and I began to realize what all the fuss was about. All those thoughts that I had heard over the years, all those weird and not so weird fantasies plaguing my mind abruptly made sense to me now. Her hands clawed at my hair in a way that probably would have been painful to any human man. It felt as though, like me, she needed me closer, impossibly closer still. I wanted to melt into her warmth.

Her moan was deep and rumbling as my lips found the sensitive part of her neck. It resonated through my hollow chest. Venom collected in my mouth and I could smell my extra sweet breath amongst the fusion of various other scents. The salty taste of her sweat stung my tongue and made me shiver in anticipation for other things that I so desperately wanted to taste again. I allowed myself to take the soft supple skin of her neck into my mouth and I began to suck hard. The blood rose to that area and I could tell that I was bruising her neck. A 'love bite' I think that called it. I smirked as I thought it sounded quite apt.

The sun began to rise as I flipped her over onto her back. Morning would be here soon and with it this night would just be a glorious memory. I had to make sure that I took my time in memorizing every detail. Maybe in doing so I would be distracted enough to not harm her fresh body.

Harm her. Hurt her. Kill her. My neuroses all came crashing back down on me in that moment. I was too strong, I was too cold and I was too ready to suck the life out of her at one wrong movement. While my mind played horrible images through my head I felt her still and panting form beneath me. Her eyes were apprehensive and questioning. My mind went blank, horrible images vanquished to some forgotten tomb, when I felt her delicate yet nimble fingers begin to unbutton my shirt.

Her hands were shaking as I watched her remove my shirt in at agonisingly painful human pace.

'_Are you nervous?' _I questioned highlighting her shaking hands, failing to notice the suggestive undertones of my question.

'_No,' _was her reply. I felt her legs wrap around me and she pushed into me again. Beginning the friction that I hadn't noticed was absent but suddenly cursed myself for stopping our earlier rhythms. How could I ever go another moment without feeling her on me? My groin throbbed. I felt about ready to explode.

'_Edward'_ she moaned. The sound of my name on her lips, spoken confidently and passionately made me want to take her right there. Unrelentingly hard and fast.

I grabbed her breast through the thin fabric of her vest. I squeezed hard, but not hard enough that I had hurt her. My mind subconsciously disallowing me any use of my innate vampire vigour. I had to taste the flesh there. I quickly whipped away the silly fabric and was left heartbroken at her beauty. I bent my head to take her unbearably hard nipple into my mouth. Sucking and teasing and tweaking with my tongue, being careful to avoid using my teeth. Her breath drew sharp and fast as my hand came to caress her other breast. She ground herself harder into my groin. We groaned in harmony with one another.

'_I need more.' _She exhaled.

'_I- I can't' _I stuttered unsure of the validity of my words. She had no idea that I could break her.

'_Edward, I trust you.' _She said simply as I felt her hands upon the button of my trousers. Her hand disappeared into my pants and snapped the elastic of my boxer shorts against my skin. The sound cracked in the room and my eyes locked with hers once more.

Her deep chocolate eyes looked auburn in this light. As if there was some sparkling fire beneath her irises. My eyes snapped shut when I felt her hand snake past the hem of my underwear and her warm hand found my cold, hard erection. I furrowed my brow as I tried to concentrate upon not erupting in that very moment.

Her sizzling palm was soft and flat against my groin and I raised myself up on my arms so that she could get a better angle with her hand. She moved her hand against my erection slightly and I felt my arms shake. Her slow attention to detail sped up within seconds. And I could feel myself uncontrollably moaning.

It felt so right, so real, to be here in this moment with her. I couldn't believe that I had ever tried to deny myself this. Deny her soft, perfect touch against my skin. Her hand curled around my erection and she took me fully into her grasp. I shook my trousers and boxers down the rest of the way, effortlessly. I'm not even sure if she noticed.

My looked straight into her eyes as they travelled down my torso to my groin. My hands curled into fists in the duvet as I felt her gaze on me. Her tongue darted out and she licked her lips subconsciously. I wanted to take her tongue into my mouth and circle it with my own but I could not bring myself to tear my eyes away from hers as she watched herself pump my rigid member.

I felt her body move as she brought her legs up to a bent position, her thumb grazed over the sensitive head of my penis and her other hand reached down to cup my balls, she gently squeezed and kneaded them. As she pumped on she sat herself up, her body moved so that I was almost nestled within the apex of her tender thighs.

I was at a loss of contact realizing that the only parts of us touching were her delicate hands massaging my colossal hard-on. I licked the tear of sweat that trickled from her ear down her neck.

My moans were reaching a new definition of loud and if I did not have the talent of hearing Charlie's sound dreams I would be panicked that he had heard us. The man slept like the dead.

'_Bella, you have to stop.' _I choked out almost sobbing at the thought of her removing her warm hands.

'_Do you __actually__ want me to stop?' _She replied panting.

'_No' _I started and her hand sped up in pace, I snarl erupted from deep within my chest as I felt the need to continue, _'But if you don't stop what you are doing_- groan –_this is going to be over a lot sooner than I would like it to be, ungh'_

Her mouth formed an 'O' shape, _'don't you have some sort of special vampire stamina?' _She mocked teasingly. I felt a slight hormonal pang and the seventeen year old within me longed to defend my masculinity.

'_In other circumstances, yes, but never where you are concerned. Do you have any idea what you do to me?' _

With that she removed her hands from my groin and rose up to stand on her knees. My eyes gaped as her pert breasts bounced with the movement and I sat back on my own knees. Her hand trailed down from in between her cleavage and stopped at her pubic bone. My gaze was transfixed upon the movement of her hand as she dipped two fingers deep inside of her glistening hole.

She moaned and brought her sopping wet fingers out and displayed them in front of me. It was now my mouth that hung open in an 'O' shape and in that instant she scooted close to me pressing her body flush against mine, her nipples turning into stabbing pebbles at the coolness of my skin.

Her wet fingers bent into the corner of my open mouth, the taste of her arousal, so familiar yet so new, swirled into my mouth and I couldn't resist closing my mouth around her fragile fingers to violently suck her essence from her skin.

'_Probably quite similar to what __you__ do to __me__'_

'_You' _I said around her fingers and she removed them to allow me to speak, _'You are – the sexiest, most insufferable woman in the world' _I declared.

I heard Charlie stirring in the next room and groaned at his impeccable timing.

'_Bella, listen,'_ I huffed,_ 'Charlie is about to wake up. We haven't much time.' _I kissed her fiercely. Allowing her tongue access into my mouth I whimpered at the sudden rush I got from tasting this new orifice. She moaned as the venom that had collected in my mouth washed into hers and she drank it down willingly.

I heard Charlie shift again. Fuck! We had literal moments and this perfect night would have to end too abruptly. I was afraid that in the light of day I would not allow myself to return to this point.

'_I have to leave' _I said, between kisses, anguish cloaking my voice.

'_Stay'_ she whispered huskily into my ear. _'He will be gone a half hour after he gets up, he won't even come in here.' _

I wanted to believe her. I needed to believe her.

'_OK,' _I resigned, _'but if I hear him coming anywhere near this room I am out of that window butt naked.' _She giggled.

'_I think I'd like to see that some time'_

She lay back on the bed, her body shone with a silvery sheen of perspiration. I had to stop myself from going against everything I had said and pick up exactly where we had left off. I placed my cool hand around her ankle and her skin vibrated beneath my touch. I snatched my hand away and coughed loudly.

'_So since we have some time to kill until Charlie leaves what do you want to do?' _

She raised her eyebrows in response. She was so persistent.

'_I doubt it, I mean I know I am a vampire but I __really__ do not want to face the wrath of Charlie.' _

She giggled again. I added that to my list of favourite sounds.

'_OK,' _her brow clenched as she began to think, _'Perhaps you could tell me more about you. I mean you seem to know a lot about me, but I don't really know anything about you. There are only some things that I am sure of. Although, I really do think that you should put some clothes on if you want me to last a half hour without attempting to ravish you.' _She grinned seductively.

'_Same goes to you'_ I said as I pulled my boxers on and threw my creased shirt at her. As she buttoned herself into my favourite shirt, her pale creamy legs looking good enough to eat, she had never looked more beautiful.

'_And what do you mean 'I seem to know a lot about you'? Your mind is like a steel trap, I only wished I knew a lot about you.'_

I could hear Charlie waking up and moving about his room as Bella and I lay side by side on her small bed. I laced my fingers with hers and brought her hand up to kiss the back of it before settling them upon my stomach.

'_Ok, a question for a question, and you have to be honest, promise?' _She smiled dubiously.

'_Promise – you start.' _

'_How old are you? Well, what I mean is how long have you been a vampire for?'_

'_Since 1918, I was seventeen when Carlisle turned me' _

'_So Carlisle is not actually your father then?' _

'_Ah, ah, ah,' _I shook my head, _'It's my turn. Remember?'_

'_Ok, ok' _

'_What is your favourite book?' _

She raised her eyebrows and said _'Wuthering Heights' _I had eyed her tattered copy of the novel on her nightstand earlier in the evening and silently wondered if this had been her favourite book. It had looked so worn and over read and it took pride of place in her room. _'You seriously want to know what my favourite book is?' _She continued.

'_I want to know everything about you Bella. I can't get into you head like I can with everyone else. Now was that your question?' _

'_No!' _She pleaded a little too loudly and I kissed her nose.

'_Shh, love; you don't want Charlie bounding in here, do you?' _

'_Sorry, whose turn is it?' _She looked a little flushed.

'_Technically, yours.' _

**BPOV**

He called me 'love'.

I ached to touch him again, but I knew where that would lead and I really did not want Charlie busting in here.

I knew what I wanted to ask him or rather tell him, but I wasn't sure how to broach the subject. I decided to hedge my way around it hoping that he would find an easier way to bring it into the conversation.

'_How do you know that you love me?'_

He looked shocked as if his approaching answer was obvious.

'_I don't love you Bella.' _He said clearly.

My face burned as if I had horribly misjudged the entire situation. Hadn't he said _obsessively in love_? Hadn't he declared himself to me? I felt stupid. Maybe the whole thing was just an evil ploy to get into my pants. I bet he wasn't even a vampire, I bet he was just some scarily attractive stalker. I knew some guys lied to girls so that they would have sex with them.

That horrible misfortune had befallen itself to a girl in my junior class back in Phoenix, everyone had known about it and she didn't come to school for three weeks. Edward probably did this all the time. I felt that my embarrassment would be equally as bad – if not worse. I would have to move schools, I started mentally racking my brain for other high schools in close proximity to Forks, but my lack of knowledge about the surrounding areas immediately presented a problem.

I had been so forward tonight; he would probably tell everyone that I was easy and sexually frivolous. _Sex, starved nymphomaniac. Sex, starved nymphomaniac. _I could hear the hideously abundant taunts and chants from my fellow class members already. I coughed and spluttered as the tears rolled down my cheeks freely.

I rolled off the bed and stood in the corner of my room, facing the wall and held my face in my hands. I had felt love, in his touch, in his eyes and in his words. Maybe he was just a really good liar, or maybe I had just imagined it all in my head.

How could I have been such an idiot? As if someone like him could _actually_ fall for someone like me. My sobs came out as loud cries. Charlie was sure to hear, but I heard no movement against my door. He probably just thought I was having a bad dream or something.

'_Bella,'_ he laughed. Jerk. _'Bella, love, come back, you didn't let me finish.' _

'_No!' _I choked out whisperingly but angrily.

I heard him rise off the bed and within an instant he was behind me with his hands on my shoulders. His fingers deftly twirled themselves into my hair as he moved it from one side of my shoulder and bent to kiss my neck.

'_Stop it! Get out.' _I my voice still the level of a whisper. Mostly because I didn't want Charlie finding out I was a sex starved nymphomaniac but also to disguise the hurt in my voice as it cracked from the threat of more uncontrollable sobs.

'_Bella,' _he laughed again but with a hint of caution this time. He turned me around to look at him.

'_Don't laugh at me!' _I raised my fist and bashed it against his chest lightly but hard enough for his steely chest to hurt my hand. _'Ow' _I exhaled and tried to shake the pain out of my hand. He laughed again.

'_I said don't laugh at me.' _I tried to throw him my best 'I hate you' stare, but as I looked up into his eyes they shone with the same golden brightness as when he had declared love at various intervals in the evening. The words hurt now. My current anger betrayed me as I felt myself melting into his gaze. I whipped my eyes to the floor instantly.

'_I'm sorry; you are just so adorable when you are angry.'_

'_Shut up' _I exhaled.

He brushed the back of his cool hand against my tear stained cheek.

'_I said 'I don't love you' Bella…'_

'_You don't have to say it again!' _I interrupted quietly.

'_Will you please let me finish?' _He laughed again. Jackass.

'_Fine'_

'_I said 'I don't love you'' _He repeated and I had to bite my lip to refrain from shouting at him, _'because I don't __just__ love you. I am __in __love with you, completely, irreversibly, unreservedly, absolutely and positively __in__ love with you. I don't think that there has ever been a person, or vampire for that matter, in existence who has loved someone as much as I love you. You are everything to me and you will be for the rest of my sorry eternity. And I don't expect anything back, I never did, I never entertained the idea that you would even be interested in my existence.' _

'_Oh' _I replied.

Stupid vampire.

Stupid, undeserving me.

I did not regret my outburst; he deserved it for cruelly tricking me. Although the relief flowed through my like ice on fire, I was still angry at him. How could he think that I didn't feel exactly the same way? Had I not told him that I loved him a million times already? Did he think that I regularly did those things with just any old vampire?

I heard Charlie's bedroom door close and the irritating creak that the top stair always made as he descended and started to potter around in the kitchen. Quite loudly, I thought, for 6.00am, I guess he still was not used to having me around. I was grateful for the noise though as it meant that I could talk at a normal volume again.

'_How could you think that I would not be interested?'_

'_I don't expect you to be in love with me too Bella'_

'_So what, you think I just let any random boys sneak in through my window, oh sure, I mean you are like the tenth one tonight! I had Mike over earlier, and Eric before that. They just can't get enough of me! I'm the town bicycle you know?'_

My sarcastic rant came to an end and I realised that I hadn't actually answered his question it would have been incredibly easy to tell him that I felt the same way, fall into his arms and melt into his icy embrace. Oh well, serves him right for being an idiot. I flopped back down on my bed and left him standing facing the wall. He snarled loudly and I could see him clenching his fists tightly.

'_I didn't mean that, Bella.' _He said through gritted teeth and turned to face me, kneeling at my feet and taking my hands into his. He began to kiss the tips of my fingers and I wanted to tell him so much in that moment.

He carried on _'I just meant to say that, although I am sure that you do have some interest in me, I don't expect you to be in love with me, I don't expect you to feel for me what I feel for you. This night has been perfect in every way, but I wouldn't want you to feel obliged to say things that you didn't mean, just to save __my__ feelings, I wouldn't want to force you into a decision like that. Especially when you'd have to give up so much.' _He looked miserable.

I kissed him. My lips slammed into his forcibly. He kissed back, somewhat apprehensively. I poured everything I felt into that kiss, grabbing his head and pushing him closer to me, probably bruising my mouth.

'_I love you, so much.'_ I said as I broke the kiss. The words fell naturally off my tongue. I had been thinking them for so long now that it felt like an innate part of who I was, of who I was to become. I rested my forehead against his.

'_What?' _He replied, astonished.

'_I love you, so much,' _I repeated, _'I can't use all the fancy words that you did, but I mean it when I say that I feel the same way. I am __in__ love with you.' _

He pulled his head back from mine to stare into me. He looked confused as if checking for the sincerity of my words, as if trying to decipher truth from lies.

He blinked.

'_You… How… Wha… Why?' _He stuttered.

I took his face between my hands and kissed his nose. _'Edward, my love, I have absolutely no idea. Reason doesn't really factor itself into this type of thing very often, or so I've heard. I just know, deep down, in my heart of hearts that 'there has never been a person, or vampire for that matter, in existence that has loved someone as much as I love you.'' _

'_You stole my words.' _He chuckled and kissed my cheek. His smile was radiant and contagious and I felt myself returning it with the same enthusiasm.

'_Whose turn is it to ask a question now?' _I asked remembering our earlier game.

'_Who cares?' _He replied.

I laughed loudly and fell back on the bed. He joined me there and peppered light kisses all over my face all the while smiling and chuckling. I giggled with him.

I felt his hand snake from my knee up my thigh and in between my legs. I shot him a questioning look and he bent his head to kiss my ear lobe where he whispered, _'Charlie just left.' _

**A/N: Jeezo, just screw already!**


	4. Covert Ops

**Disclaimer: You know the drill…**

**A/N: OK, well I am fully aware that I am shit as this update was promised on Sunday and it is now Wednesday. I have no excuse apart from the fact that I am shit. But it is here now and it is long so thank you very much for being patient. **

**Originally I planned for this to be the last chapter but I got carried away (as per) and decided to go onto a fifth chapter. **

**Apparently I cannot write lemons without fluff so y'all will just have to grin and bear it! I loved Edward in this chapter which is why his POV takes up the bulk of it. **

**Oh and I only skim edited this one due to general laziness so if there are any major mistakes please point them out and I will rectify them. **

**Thanks again for the reviews, they mean a lot to me and made me giggle. **

**xxx**

**EPOV**

I was elated, stupidly and ridiculously happy and ecstatic. The girl – woman of my non-existent dreams, lets call them fantasies, had just told me that she was in love with me. This was so much more than I could ever ask for, a week ago I was worried that I was going to kill her. I was cursing her presence in my life, as if she had been sent to torture me and test my will, and now everything I had come to feel, in the short time I had known her, was suddenly and adoringly reciprocated.

She was right though; there was no reason to explain the love we felt. There was no point in sullying something so untarnished with pathetic undeserving words. Our love just was, and however fast and forbidden it may have seemed, the most important part was that it felt right and real. She loved me as I loved her and that was all that mattered.

I lay obliging kisses upon her face, her lips, her cheeks, her nose and her forehead. I felt her twitch when I began to kiss her jaw. That was possibly a little bit too risky with Charlie still in the house. I calmed my inevitable need for her and began to think of my family. What would they make of all this? They knew of my feelings for Bella, Alice had been the one to help me discover them and help me understand that my need to have her protected stemmed from something deeper, something more primal.

I wondered if a vampire had ever fallen in love with a human before, I made a mental note to berate Carlisle upon the subject. I knew of the incubus and the succubus, but I also wondered if a vampire had ever made love with a human before, and not just for personal gain. I decided that that was a topic I was unlikely to bring up with Carlisle.

Even so I think that my family would be unusually perplexed to discover that Bella knew what I was and had still professed to love me. I could imagine that there would have to be a family meeting about this. Jasper would scold me for telling her what we were, Rosalie would be nonchalant and think that I was being selfish, Emmett would cast crude thoughts in my direction about me finally getting some, Carlisle would be overly interested in the workings of a such a relationship, Esme would be pleased that I had found someone who could love me for who I was and Alice would be ecstatically excited that she could finally talk to her future best friend.

I knew them well enough to know that would be the general reaction to this new piece of news. That was if they did not already know. Even though I had told Alice to stay out of my future when I came to Bella's house in the evenings – I was not quite sure if she conceded my demand.

Her body was so warm and inviting and I saw the love I felt for her reflected back at me through her eyes. I knew that with my vampire senses we could feel emotions and sensations at a more enhanced level to that of a human. We could suddenly feel very strongly about a specific thing and thus remain unmoved upon our moral stances for the rest of eternity.

I knew that I would love Bella for the rest of my undying life and I could justify this fact. I could also justify the fact that I had fallen so hard and so quickly for a girl that I barely knew. However I could not fathom how she had felt so strongly for me so quickly. Barring this evenings… excursions, on her part we had had but a few conversations and most of them less than amiable. I longed to know how her mind worked; maybe if I could hear her thoughts I could then understand the depth of what she felt for me.

I shook my head and allowed the simplicity of her declaration to wash through me, it felt so natural to be in love with Bella and it felt surprisingly natural when she has said those words back to me. We were bound together now. Not just through her raging hormones or my weak self control, although it was amazing to experience her in that way, I could imagine that it would feel infinitely beyond amazing to experience her like that and know that we loved each other.

It felt natural and real to be in love, and to feel love returned, and maybe it was her intoxicating scent dizzying me into giving into baser instincts but I knew that it would also feel natural and real to make love with her. I passionately loved her and no pretentious, overly careful and distrusting part of my self restraint was going to stop me from showing her just how passionate my love was. As long as she welcomed it, of course.

My vampire strength and teetering control never factored into my mind or this relationship anymore, I knew in my surprisingly alive, cold dead heart that this girl – woman, would never come to any harm when I was around. The need to taste her blood was greatly surpassed by the all-consuming need to love her.

I heard the loud click of the front door and the subsequent footsteps, car door and engine revving as Charlie took off down the road. I was immediately drawn out of my daydream. I was fully aware that Bella was still returning my kisses and I was quite glad that I had sufficiently distracted myself and not got too carried away in the heat of the moment. The absence of Charlie made me realise that we were now alone and together with no chance of an interruption.

I gently brushed my hand against her knee, tickling the warm flesh there and lightly brushing up towards her thigh, moving further and further until my hand stilled so close to my desired destination. Her eyes snapped open wide; I did not have to be able to read her mind to know that she silently questioned me.

I bent my head close to her ear and kissed the tender flesh there before whispering, _'Charlie just left.'_

It was as if the simmering fire that had been put out almost half an hour before now was rapidly gaining heat again. The flames grew stronger than they were before, and I knew that we would soon find the release we craved from each other.

We kissed each other passionately and feverishly, she moaned into my mouth and this sound became a sudden driving force for me as I longed to hear her make that sound over and over. Her pleasure was something, I was sure I would never tire of; I could never become jaded by a sound so beautiful and so Bella.

My hand still remained still upon the top of her thigh, I was eager, yet unsure of whether to move it. I wanted this moment to last forever and I was sure that the sooner I started actively pursuing my - our ultimate goal, the sooner it would all be over. Her legs closed tight around my palm as she was trying to forcibly entice the friction she so desperately needed from me.

I removed my hand and she whimpered exasperatedly all the while still kissing me. I felt her hot mouth form a smile against my lips as I moved myself on top of her. I propped myself up on one elbow, to make sure that my full weight was not pressing down upon her, while my other hand was free to explore her body. I stroked her hair and her cheek, marvelling in the warmth that she sent through me.

My hand trailed down her body and rested against her smooth hip. Her own hands began an exploration of there own as she scraped her nails down my bare back and placed her hands on my backside, forcibly pushing my groin into hers. I growled at the sensation, the swift friction, it caused and tried to still her hips with my hand.

'_Bella,' _I whispered, _'please, lets just take this slowly, I want to remember this forever, and to be quite honest I am a little bit nervous.'_ I hadn't realized it until I had said it out loud, but I was nervous. I was nervous about everything that a human male would be nervous about and then on top of that I had the added nerves of a vampire male.

'_Nervous?'_ She asked, in a somewhat unbelieving tone.

'_Yes I am nervous, about a lot of things, but mostly because I have never done this before' _

'_You're telling me that for the hundred-odd years that you have been alive- you have never had sex before?' _

'_No,' _was my simple and honest answer.

'_Why?' _I could tell she wasn't asking to be cruel, but what I couldn't understand was why she didn't know the answer already. Wasn't it obvious?

'_Because I hadn't found you yet,' _I replied simply and honestly again.

Her eyes darted away from mine and she blushed furiously.

'_I have never – I haven't either. I mean I had never even kissed someone before tonight.' _She said, barely above a whisper. Of course I already knew that she had never made love before, due to my early explorations of her intimate anatomy. But knowing that her lips had remained untouched filled me with a strange sense of pride. To know that every intimate part of her had belonged to me first made me all the more sure that it would ultimately belong to me last. I was never going to let her go, not after this. How could I ever imagine my world, when Bella was not the centre of it?

'_So, let us just take this slowly, agreed?' _Her eyes found mine again.

'_Agreed.' _She replied.

She kissed me chastely as if she was sealing the deal upon our bargain. Her stomach growled loudly and although she looked embarrassed I could tell that the lack of sleep combined with the evening's activities had caused her to feel hungry.

'_How about we get you fed first.' _I said rising to my feet, pulling my trousers on above my boxers and holding my hand out for her.

**BPOV**

Intolerable!

That was exactly what it was. He spoke earlier of my scent, how it had tempted him, how he had wanted to kill me because of it and in excruciating detail about how tonight a different scent had finally overwhelmed him and made him lose his rigid control. He made it seem as though the issue of my scent was always hanging in the balance and that its allure caused him to contemplate my death. He'd explained how this fact taunted him to no end because he was well beyond the point of acknowledging or entertaining the option of killing me, to stop his suffering.

I thought to myself, now, that he was cruelly trying to make me feel the same way, to some lesser degree. He was again beckoning me and coaxing me to the point of no return, only to reel me back in at the last instant. He was driving me crazy, in more ways than one. I deliberated on whether or not my death would be easier.

On the one hand; the absolute passion and excitement that I felt when he touched me, kissed me and even when he did something as simple as speak my name was incredible and had an unreal affect upon my emotional and physical responses. But now he was taunting me. I couldn't imagine what it felt like to have the bloodlust he had described but I imagined it was somewhat akin to rudimentary lust I was feeling now.

Even with his standing there, his hand held out, all chivalrous and the like. But his beautiful ghostlike torso, perfect in every contour and astonishingly lickable, begged for me to touch it, to run my fingers over it, to tease his (one can only imagine) stone like nipples between my teeth. His trousers hung low on his hips and I could see the annoying band of his boxer shorts poking above the hem. It was gorgeous and maddening, in every sense of the words.

I couldn't stand to think of the mess that I looked to him. Tousled and unruly hair, flushed cheeks, doused in a sticky sheen from my previously sweat covered body. Not only was I desperately hungry but I felt sickeningly in need of a shower as well. My stomach growled again. A shower could wait; food was a major priority at this moment in time, if only to save me blushing every time my stomach wanted to announce its emptiness to the world.

I leant forward to grab Edward's hand and within and instant I was whisked into his strong hold, essentially in a fireman's lift over his shoulder my bare behind sticking up into the air.

'_Edward!'_ I squealed, laughing as he smacked my bottom lightly.

'_You'll not believe the view I have from here.'_ He said with amused awe and although I could not see his face I felt for sure that there would be a big toothy grin plastered on his face.

'_Oi! Either put me down or stop trying to cop a feel!' _I knew I didn't mean either of those threats. For one I quite enjoyed being in his strong hold, even if my blood was rapidly moving towards my head, the wooziness only added to my general constant dizziness around Edward. And two, who was I to stop him copping a feel? That would seem almost blasphemous. I imagined his smirk growing wider in response to my faux-struggles.

I silently adored how well I felt that I knew him. Imagining his facial expressions only made me feel closer to him and I anticipated the moments to come when I could learn and experience other aspects of what made Edward who he was. I was eager to know everything about him, however with his hundred year old mind I was sure that was to be a long story and it would probably put a damper upon the mood. It could wait, for now it was sufficient to know that he loved me as I loved him, nothing else mattered, nothing else needed to exist.

My stomach howled this time.

'_OK, OK, I get it, the lady needs food!' _He said in response to my stomachs rude interruption.

We were downstairs and in the kitchen within the blink of an eye. Edward stood me on my feet and I swayed lightly from the head rush. I toppled into his waiting arms and he kissed me on the forehead.

'_So fragile'_ I heard him whisper into my hair. He picked me up again and sat me on top of the counter top. He rested his hands on my thighs and looked up at me smiling.

'_What would you like to eat?'_

'_Just some cereal or something'_ I replied.

'_Don't be silly, Bella, I will make you something.' _

'_No, I am fine; really, just something small will be enough.'_

'_Are you sure? I mean don't you want to have something more substantial in order to keep your energy levels up?' _My eyes widened as he winked suggestively and smiled almost shyly.

'_Well, I suppose you have kept me from my sleep.' _ I feigned a yawn and pretended to stifle it with nonchalance.I shot him my best innocent look and he shook his head and looked down towards his hands, his thumbs now gently rubbing circles against my inner thighs. Beckoning and coaxing me once again. I wondered then if Edward felt this way when I touched him. If my slightest touch awoke parts within him that he wasn't even sure previously existed. It was a new and strange feeling to be so attuned to someone else's touch after such a short time. I sighed.

'_What is it? What are you thinking?' _He pleaded and found my eyes again. His bronzed eyes looked sad and apprehensive, and I longed to know what he was thinking too. I stroked my palm against his marble cheek and he leant into my touch.

'_I was just thinking about how natural this feels.'_

'_What else?' _He pressed.

'_I was thinking about what it felt like for you when I touch you.' _

'_What else?' _There was intensity in his eyes.

'_How it kind of feels like you are teasing me. And before you ask "what else?" that's all.' _

Confusion and anguish etched themselves into his face and he turned his head to kiss my palm.

'_So? What are you thinking?' _

'_I was thinking about how natural this feels too, but now I am severely distracted by thoughts of you touching me.' _He smirked,_ 'and I am hardly the tease, Bella, your scent alone is begging for me, let alone your perfect body and delectable lips.' _I gulped as he pressed a light kiss against my cheek.

'_OK,' _He clapped his hands loudly startling me. _'Time for food, I have never cooked before but something tells me I will be excellent at it.'_ While he smiled ridiculously I had visions of my house burning down and Edward and I having to escape in our shocking 'I just spent all night almost having sex' attire. I thought of having to face my father and explain that my vampire lover had burnt the house down whilst cooking a massive bacon and egg breakfast for my sleep deprived body, and so that I would have enough energy to wile the day away in his arms. I did not see that going down well at all.

Withdrawn from my thoughts I realised that Edward had already set himself about the task of cooking me breakfast, finding everything in the kitchen without hazard. I heard him crack an egg into a frying pan and silently wondered how long I had been stuck in my daydream for. I shifted myself off the counter top into a standing position and moved to walk across the room.

'_Where are you going?' _He asked incredulously.

'_To sit at the table.' _ He grabbed me swiftly by the waist and plonked me back up on top of the bench.

'_No, you have to stay there.' _He smiled wickedly, _'You can be my muse.' _

I laughed, _'You're not painting me Edward!' _

'_I know, but you can inspire me while I work.' _He stated.

I had not seen this light-hearted side of him. Our conversations had thus far been cloaked in doom and gloom, passion and lust and declarations of love. I liked that he felt comfortable enough to act normally around me. I still was not used to the speedy flitting around the room as he collected ingredients, but I enjoyed the fact that he could feel at ease to be himself whilst still maintaining a semblance of playfulness.

'_How shall I inspire you?' _I asked, not wanting to lose the conversational banter.

'_You are doing just fine.' _He said as his eyes roamed down my exposed legs.

I gulped loudly as I felt his gaze on me, I felt unusually uncomfortable and self-conscious as he relentlessly scanned my body with a pleased smile upon his face. His good-humour turned sour when he realised that I was not enjoying the way his eyes meandered across my form. He coughed and returned to moving the bacon around the spitting frying pan.

'_I am sorry Bella, I did not mean to make you feel uncomfortable, you have to tell me when I do or say something that you do not like, or think is inappropriate.' _I realized that he had misunderstood my awkward shifting and took it to mean that he had done something wrong. He was so brooding and too stuck in his own head that I felt like the only way to draw him out of it was to be wholly honest with him.

'_I don't mind you looking at me Edward,' _I spoke up as he moved to put two pieces of bread in the toaster. He stopped to turn to me. _'Don't feel like you can't ever act upon instinct around me, I would hate it if you tried to be anything less than yourself around me.' _

'_Yes, Bella, but there are things I must refrain from, especially if they make you feel ill at ease.'_

'_I like it when you look at me, the only reason I felt uncomfortable was because – because well, I don't need you to pretend that I am much to look at.' _He slammed the spatula down upon the counter beside me and gritted his teeth. I saw his fists clench and unclench and his shoulders tensed in anger. I was then surprised when he spoke softly towards me.

'_I don't know who or what has made you feel this way, but you really don't see yourself how I see you or how others see you. You are beautiful and I will tell you that every second of every day until you believe me. Your body is tantalizing, your creamy legs are perfectly shaped and so soft to touch, I look at your face and your beauty astounds me, it knocks me back.' _I looked down embarrassed to be receiving such compliments from someone as astonishingly beautiful as Edward.

He continued, _'I feel breathless around you. I can't help myself from looking at you – at your body and wanting it against mine. The need to bathe in your beauty is overwhelming. And I am not just talking about how seductively sexy you are. I am talking about your inner beauty as well; it is as if you shine this pure and untouched light from deep within. It makes you innocent and it makes you vulnerable but it also makes you irresistible. No one can resist the good in you Bella,' _He paused to stroke my hair out of my face and turn my chin so that my eyes met with his.

'_No one,'_ He repeated, _'you are my muse because you inspire me to feel things I have never felt before, you inspire me to understand humanity more, which in turn makes me feel more human. I feel __good__ when I am around you Bella; you make me feel like a man, like a good man. But most of all you inspire me to love, to be in love. That is why you are beautiful; because you can do all of these things with one look and still remain modest and affable. Never believe that you are anything less than the light in my unbeaten heart, you are beautiful, my angel.' _He kissed my lips and pulled back expectantly looking into my eyes.

How was I supposed to reply to that? He had left me in a mushy, gooey mess and I could feel the dorky smile slip in place on my mouth. I wished that I had enough control to wipe it away, and reply as sincerely and with as much conviction as he had spoken to me. But at this moment in time I couldn't quite understand why I was still sitting upright instead of reduced to being a puddle on the floor.

All I could manage was a simple _'Oh,' _and he laughed at my inability to form a coherent sentence. I stared at his perfect face as the muscles in his jaw tensed as he smiled. My eyes travelled lower and I allowed them to assess him in the same manner as he had me. He carried on buttering my toast and assembling my breakfast. I didn't have the heart to tell him that any need for food had blissfully left my body and the pit of my stomach was replaced with a different ache.

I was glad that he had remained shirtless, it allowed my eyes to travel along the expanse of his pectoral muscles and the perfect indents of his abdomen, and how his pelvis was formed into a V shape with a slight dusting of hair that lay above the top of his trousers. I couldn't articulate how _his _beauty affected _me_, I felt as though if I tried to describe it I would slowly drive myself insane. This wasn't to say that I could not appreciate every flawless angle.

'_I like it when you look at me too.' _He said simply and I snapped my eyes away from his groin. He just laughed and placed his finished meal down on the breakfast table.

'_Voila!' _He exclaimed in excitement and darted over to where I was sat, too stunned to move. I didn't think I would ever find someone to love me as much as Edward seemingly did, I truly was blessed. I wondered quietly, if the butterflies in my stomach would ever disappear. I hoped and knew they wouldn't; it felt far too good to be in love.

He held his arms outstretched towards me and motioned for me to jump from the bench, I think perhaps he was trying to shock the lifelessness out of me.

'_I'm sorry if I was too intense before Bella.' _That did it; I couldn't believe that he was trying to apologize for what he had just said to me. I grabbed his hands and pulled him towards me, where his hips settled comfortably in between my legs.

I watched my hand as I ran it through his hair and he eyed me curiously.

'_Never apologize for saying things like that to me.' _I said sweetly and kissed him with my eyes fully open and locked into his. He smiled sheepishly and shook his head. I couldn't fail to remember that all this was new to him too and he couldn't help it if he felt insecure about some things as well.

He broke the silence, _'Come on, your food will be getting cold.' _He whisked me from the bench and before I knew it I was sitting in his lap at the breakfast table where he had the first fork full of food poised at my mouth.

'_Are you really going to feed me?' _I asked, astonished.

'_Humour me, please; I don't get to do things like this.' _

I opened my mouth and let the taste of the food wash through me. I closed my eyes and moaned in pleasure as the subtle flavour of the egg white drenched in the delicate muskiness of the egg yolk attacked my senses. An egg had never tasted so good.

**EPOV **

She looked blissful and unaware of anything else in the room. So much so she was suddenly startled when I spoke up.

'_How does it taste?' _I asked eager to know, it all smelt horribly foul to me, but I had found a new love for food as I watched her enjoy the first bite of the breakfast I had made her. She looked positively glowing and a fresh hunger burned in her eyes as she eyed the empty fork, urging me to give her another bite.

I placed a piece of bacon in her mouth this time and I watched her chew thoughtfully as if she was trying to decipher what was different about the food.

'_How does it taste?' _I questioned again.

'_To die for,' _she mumbled around the food, _'You really are an excellent cook.' _

'_Describe the taste to me Bella.'_ I said as I held the toast up for her to take a bite.It wasn't that I missed food in any way shape or form, I just wanted share the experience with her, that and it was an offhand way of getting into the fortress of her mind.

'_I don't know how to, it's just perfect. How did you manage to make buttered toast taste like heaven on earth?' _I shrugged pathetically.

We finished off the meal with her attempting to describe tastes to me that I had no knowledge of and me feigning interest when all I really cared about was how her lips moved when she talked and when she chewed. I could watch her eat all day long.

It was then that I heard a faint beeping and then it successively got louder till it was almost screeching.

'_Shoot! My alarm is going off,' _she turned to rise.

'_I'll go turn it off, you sit down and relax, wouldn't want that food sloshing inside you if you ran upstairs.' _

I left the kitchen and recognised the faint sounds of Bella, tidying and washing dishes; I reprimanded myself for insisting to do the easier task. I walked into her bedroom and turned the abrasive alarm clock off. I pondered thoughtfully how she wouldn't need that anymore because I would be here every morning to rouse her from sleep.

I smiled at the thought of having Bella sleeping in my arms. Our relationship, however fast it had escalated was still on tentative ground, but I knew from this day onwards that there would never be a night when she would have to go to sleep alone.

The scents in her room were still strong and overbearing I could smell her arousal everywhere; it was the most intoxicating scent. I drew in a sharp breath through my nose and let it flow through me. It filled every inch of me and I shuddered from the burning ache that it forced upon my groin.

I let my tongue dart out to lick my lips and it was almost as if I could taste her honey again. I felt my eyes close as desire over took me and I had to seek out more of this unbelievably heavenly aroma. I knew the source of it was downstairs waiting patiently for my return, but I was so drunk upon the power her arousal had over me that it forced me to stay in the room.

I breathed deeply again and walked closer to the bed, at the foot lay her unassuming sweatpants and I realised that this was where the scent was most strong. I ached to pick them up and place them against my face, I longed to hide them in her room and sneak them out when I left. I was going to have to decide quickly as I could hear Bella anxiously shuffling her feet at the bottom of the stairs, probably deciding whether or not to come up.

I quickly unzipped my trousers and pulled them down along with my boxers and undid the drawstring of the loose fitting garment. I slipped my legs into them and tied the string tight around my hips. I wondered if she would notice my change of attire. I smiled at the thought of how I would answer such questions…

'_Edward?' _I heard her shout, _'Are you OK?' _

'_I'm fine,' _she looked shocked when I was suddenly at her side. I guess she really wasn't used to the whole vampire speed quite yet. The scent from her slacks enveloped me and I felt a strange awareness of how much closer I was to her arousal. I felt mischievous and abandoned, in an impious and good way.

I was so lustful when it came to her mixture of smells claiming their power over me, forcing me into acting upon instinct. I thought waywardly that I was glad that my instincts were now solely focussed upon Bella's pleasure rather than her horrible death. She looked at me dubiously with a slight simper fleeting across her mouth and eyes.

'_Are you wearing my sweats?' _I have said it before and I will say it again, this girl really was far too observant for her own good. I groaned dramatically at being caught out.

'_Yes,' _I beamed proudly.

'_Why?' _She asked in a disbelieving tone.

'_Do you real want to know?' _I asked as I started to advance slowly towards where she was standing a little over a foot away from me. She smiled and started backing up towards the wall of the staircase behind her. It felt oddly predatory. My frosty chest pushed into hers and I sniffed a long line from the base of her neck to her ear and curled my face into her strawberry hair.

'_Yes,' _she choked out in reaction to my onslaught.

'_I wanted to feel you, on me.' _I whispered into her ear, I couldn't stop myself in my futile attempt to seduce her. It was futile because as the fresh honeyed aroma made my nostrils flare, I realised that I didn't need to attempt the seduce her, she was already seduced.

She swallowed loudly and I could feel her legs trembling against mine. She was impossibly even warmer now as the food took its desired affect within her body. She exhaled a long breath as if she had been holding it for a long time.

I was aware that my reasoning for my little tryst at petty theft afforded no more explaining. I wasn't sure if she fully understood but I knew that all her previous thoughts were abandoned in haste to experience this exact moment.

I placed my hands on the wall on either side of her to steady myself as I ground my hips into hers. Her hands found my waist and I lifted my face from her hair to take in her expression. Her eyes were closed softly and her mouth was parted as she breathed heavily. I didn't know if she was aware of my intensive scrutiny as I circled my hips again and examined her face. She licked her lips and her breath came out in one long ragged sound.

I brought my left hand down from the wall and let it graze her throat as I ran it lower and traced the outline of her breast through the fabric of my shirt. She sighed in a high pitch. She shifted slightly and entwined her legs with mine, the leg between jostled slightly as she moved her wet core against my leg. I was definitely keeping these trousers.

I could feel myself mimicking her actions against the dainty leg between me. My erection grew solid. We moved slowly, there was no hurry and no urgency now as we both understood the need to take everything at a deliberate pace and subject ourselves to the awe-inspiring feeling of simply enjoying each other.

**BPOV**

I felt familiar spasms in the base of my abdomen. I could see lights flashing behind my eyes and I could feel my centre tighten and pulse a little bit more every time I rubbed myself against him. I wasn't sure if somebody could actually have an orgasm this way but apparently my body thought it was a plausible outcome.

His adroit fingers teased my nipple through the shirt and I threw my head back as he squeezed a little bit harder. My heartbeat raced into one continuous thump and vibrated throughout my entire body all the way down to my curling toes.

His hardness ground into me harder as he bent his knee up for me to angle myself onto him more forcibly. I was grateful for the new inclined slant of his granite thigh as it forced untold pressures upon my aching nub. I felt my hips buck wildly and I reached my hand up above me to grasp onto the stilts supporting the banister. I moaned loudly and Edward grunted, my eyes snapped open and found his as I could feel my unmistakable climax sprinting towards its zenith. I attempted to kiss him but could only manage a moan into his mouth.

My breath hitched as my release broke free and quivered through me. My oral annunciation of its arrival was much quieter this time as the vibrations shuddered throughout me and caused a pulsing numbness to overpower every nerve in my body. I couldn't make a single sound as the sheer intensity of the feeling misplaced every humane part of me. It was, for want of a better word, magical.

I felt Edward still and his knee dropped from in between my legs. I slowly became aware of my surroundings and one by one I felt my senses return. _'Wow,' _I breathed.

'_You're amazing,' _his voice sounded strangled. I was faintly aware of Edward's solid length jutting into my hip bone as he brushed the matted hair away from my forehead. I realized that I had again experienced the earth shattering sensation of an orgasm, and Edward remained unrelieved still. It must be painful to be that turned on and not have the desperate release.

I felt the crushing need to make him feel as good as I had just felt. I hooked my hands around his neck and jumped up to wrap my legs around his waist, locking my ankles behind him. My lips met his softly and he smilingly returned my kiss. I pecked his nose and his cheek and leant back to look into his eyes.

The sparks that flickered and smouldered in his eyes brusquely transformed into a blaze, my hooded eyes returned his look with an equal amount of electricity and no words were spoken between us as he hurriedly ascended the stairs and advanced towards the sanctuary of my bedroom.

**A/N: Poor Edward ;) **

**I know, I know, I know! I am cruel and evil leaving it there, but Edward is gonna be like the proverbial cat who got the cream in the next chapter, I promise! I will try and get it up ASAP, as it is half written. Not going to say a specific day though because I don't want to have to apologize for being shit again. **

**Thanks for reading xxx**


	5. Surveillance

**Disclaimer: SM rules all…**

**A/N: **Finally got round to posting this. It was mostly written when chapter 4 went up but I decided to change a lot of it, so sorry for the wait.

I am "completing" this story with this chapter, but in time I may revisit it.

Enjoy a fluffSMUT filled final chapter!

**EPOV**

I was drowning, I had fallen so incredibly hard and it seemed that I would carry on falling forever. I welcomed my burning throat. I embraced the excessive venom. I saluted the monster. And I did all of this in jest.

I mocked and teased the atrocities of my vampire self because… I was beyond in love with Bella. Although the torment I felt due to my horrific nature was a constant struggle, I found, that now, I coveted it as it only provided an unneeded challenge in my pursuit to love her so completely. And I had always loved a challenge.

On her bed now, we simply stared at each other. Her chocolate orbs entranced me and filled me with a burning desire to reach out and touch her. I expertly refrained; I had grown so accustomed to resisting and just appreciating her.

My slow breaths matched hers and the only other sound in the room was her wavering heartbeat. It thrummed sporadically and showed no signs of being tamed. Her cheeks were flushed and her skin glowed from perspiration, I longed to drag my steely tongue along her flesh and taste the natural salt.

It was a new experience to harbour feelings of anticipation and nervousness at the same time. It seemed that in loving Bella Swan I was destined to constantly discover new aspects of the _man_ that I was. She made me feel things that I had never even thought possible – let alone that I would ever get the chance to feel them.

I knew that I was being reckless and disregarding everything Carlisle had taught me over the years. Humans were the supposed prey, our food and life source and so, although, we lived among them; we did everything in our power to avoid unnecessary interaction.

However, as I contemplated this thought, I realized that Bella had quickly become my life source, for the opposite reason. Her existence validated mine, and I found that I truly belonged in this world and not the useless purgatory I had deemed my life to be before Bella. There certainly was nothing about this particular human/vampire interaction that was unnecessary. No, it was completely and entirely necessary.

Nonetheless, I could not ignore the fact that I possessed an unnatural and inhuman strength, a strength that, soberly, I had immense control over. But I had never experienced a loss of control; I had never succumbed to particular human urges and therefore did not know what would happen to my control if I did succumb.

I was not sure if I was willing enough to experiment with this theory, especially if the first ever trial meant that Bella would end up getting hurt. Or worse.

I sensed that she had noticed the distress in my eyes as hers became questioning.

'_What is it?' _She spoke tenderly.

'_I love you,' _I started.

'_But?' _She asked.I was distressed that my heartfelt declaration had to be followed with this simple but acerbic word.

'_But' _– I cringed_ – 'I'm not sure if it would be wise to continue, I'm not sure if I will be able to control myself.'_

'_What do you mean?' _She sounded hurt and I immediately rebuked myself for the double meaning laced into my words.

I decided that if Bella felt that she was mature enough to take the next step in our relationship then, we should both be adult enough to discuss the prospect of being intimate with each other without skirting around the subject.

'_It is an undeniable fact that I have a certain weakness for you Bella, I can't even begin to explain to you how that both elates and torments me.' _

'_I am still confused,' _she said and brought her palms together to place them under her head.

'_What I mean to say, is that, if we were to make love, if I was lucky enough to lose myself to you, I am not sure I would be able to resist my true nature.' _

'_I understand if you're not ready' _she interrupted solemnly.

'_No, love, you misunderstand me, I have never been more ready to love you in that way. In the way that you deserve to be loved. But I am extremely strong, even now if I were to neglect my control and touch your hand, I could reduce it to sawdust without strain or exertion. If I lose control during… sex – well I don't even want to think about the outcome. I have never experienced any such thing before and I could not ask you to be the one who I tested my limits with.'_ I faltered, _'on the other hand I am finding it increasingly difficult to resist you.' _

She closed her eyes and exhaled slowly. I could see that it pained her to open her eyes when she did, but she did it all the same and they delved deep into mine.

'_I have a suggestion.' _She said quickly and fumbled with the cotton pillow case.

'_Go on?' _I was painstakingly eager to know her thoughts, what little gem could have possibly invaded her mind. Her heartbeat raced and she nervously rubbed her feet together.

'_Well, you say that you have never experienced anything like sex, before?' _

'_Yes.' _I was senselessly confused.

'_Does that mean you have never experienced __anything__?' _She looked away from me now.

'_Yes, Bella, I am not sure what you are getting at here.' _I hungered to hear her mind. _'Please, just tell me.' _I continued desperately.

She breathed loudly and shook her limbs as if she was expelling unwanted tension.

'_You've never… touched yourself?' _She whispered almost inaudibly.

My eyes widened when realization washed over me. She wanted to know if I had ever masturbated. I understood why she had had trouble asking the question.

'_That is a human desire, often driven by human emotions, I had never felt the need for that kind of release before last night, now, strangely enough it seems to occupy my thoughts fully and constantly. But no – I have never indulged in such pleasures.' _

'_You mean you had never thought about me that way until last night?' _She shyly pressed.

'_I never allowed myself to think about you that way. I did not see the point in forcing a false release to my self-indulgent fantasies. Not when I understood that I would be deceiving myself – that it would almost certainly make me believe I had a chance with you.' _

'_Do you think that I am weak for giving into my fantasies?' _She asked, the confidence returning to her voice.

'_No.' _I surely did not think that she was weak, she seemed to accept my straightforward answer. How could something so perfect ever be construed as weakness? She had looked like an angel, all those hours ago, I was immediately surprised that it was merely hours ago, it had already felt like an eternity here with Bella.

'_What does this have to do with your suggestion?' _

'_You have fantasies?' _She was insufferable, if I could only read her mind we could have gotten to the point long ago, but she continued to edit and evade the real issue.

'_Yes,' _I decided that arguing with her to get to the point was probably not a good idea; it seemed that with Bella, you had to patiently answer her questions before resolving a conclusion. She was such an enigma.

'_Tell me.' _

'_Tell you what?'_

'_Tell me about your fantasies?' _She said simply, with a faint scarlet blush tinting her soft cheeks.

I was still unsure where this was all leading but refrained from voicing my confusion. It would surely just cause her to ask more questions. I racked my mind for particular fantasies I had had about Bella. I felt as though perhaps it was my turn to edit. I turned onto my side and inched closer to her on the bed. It felt as though I was sharing a secret with her and it seemed like a natural gesture to speak in a hushed tone.

'_After the first time I had spoken to you in Biology, you remember?' _

She nodded excitedly.

'_I went to my car and listened to a CD, mostly to calm myself and get some fresh air… away from your scent. It is true that I was still testing myself that day and I apologize for that.' – _She smiled in acceptance – _'I like to listen to music, because it allows me to block out the thoughts of people around me. You can't imagine some of the idiotic things that those children at school think. _

'_Anyway, I digress; I was letting the music drown away the outside world and normally I take this time to consider my own thoughts, except this day I could not stop thinking about you. _

'_Your enticing scent aside, I found myself thinking about how unusual you were, how your guarded mind prevented an instant understanding and I had to __try__ to know you. But in my car that day, and bear in mind that this was before I truly understood the reasons behind my draw to you, I found myself wanting and needing to know you. I allowed myself to replay the whole conversation, in an attempt to understand your mysterious answers to my questions.'_ I paused.

'_And here I thought that you were the mysterious one.' _She interjected.

I stifled a laugh and continued. _'All the while I realized that I could not take my eyes away from your lips. How they moved when you talked and how you chewed nervously on them. The monster in me wanted to bite them for you, but the man in me wanted to kiss them. In the privacy of my car I imagined what it would feel like to kiss you. First of all I contemplated taking your lips roughly against mine, I thought, maybe, and that this would satiate both the monster and the man. It drove me wild with need. But then my thoughts turned to a softer, tender caress and I felt a strange foreign feeling, I only know now that it was love' _I finished.

'_OK, tell me another one.' _She sighed, somewhat eager in her request.

Surely this fantasy had been enough to satiate her silly need to understand how she attracted me. But I remembered that this all had something to do with a suggestion of hers and so I conceded her wishes.

'_When I would come here, to watch you sleep,' – _I sighed – _'after I realized the depth of my feelings for you, I would come here for different reasons. At first it was merely curiosity and then it turned into a desire to hear you speak my name again, like that first night. The way you moaned my name with such pleasure, I can't deny it had a stirring affect upon me.' _I closed my eyes and allowed the memory to come back to me, creating the familiar stirring inside. My imagination allowed me to be transported back into those fleeting moments, to once again, experience the feeling of adoration and desire that had overwhelmed me.

'_Edward' _Bella moaned melodiously and my eyes flew open, _'Was it like that?' _

I nodded, unable to speak.

I inhaled sharply.

'_Sometimes when I would leave in the morning, I would look at you sleeping and imagine what it would feel like to lie next to you,' – _my breathing sped up as she reached over, took my hand into hers and kissed my fingertips, but I continued – _'I would think about what it would feel like to have your body pressed against me, feel your warmth all around me, sometimes I would falter and actually consider lying next to you.' _

'_I wish you would have,' _she said in earnest.

It was then that I felt her move my hand to my chest, hers still resting on top of it, burning in warmth. She pushed my shoulder so that I was lying on my back once more. And shifted herself closer to the side of my body, her face leaning over mine, her lips so close to kiss but her eyes intent on keeping a distance. She began to move my hand lower down my body.

'_Carry on.' _She pleaded.

'_Bella?' _I suddenly understood her implied "suggestion" and the motives behind it.

'_Shh, don't think about all of that, just tell me, please, I need to hear.' _She implored.

'_Sometimes I would think about what it would feel like to have you above me, kissing me and touching me.' _She moved my hand past the waistband of my borrowed slacks and forced pressure upon my stiffening length. I could feel it twitch in anticipation underneath my own hand. My breaths stopped, completely and returned vigorously. She moved both of our hands subtly but with purpose and created a much needed friction upon me.

I hissed with pleasure.

'_I,' _She closed my own hand around my shaft and began to move it. Her small palm left mine only to travel upwards and gently tease the coarse hairs of my groin. My eyes closed and I continued to move my length in my hand. My hips bucked upwards as I felt Bella lick along my jaw up towards my ear where she proceeded to nibble on my ear lobe.

My hand quickened in pace and I ached to open my eyes, to look into hers, but they were crushed so tight as a result of the throbbing in my groin. I instinctively brushed my thumb across the exposed head and growled through gritted teeth. My hand moved more rapidly when I felt Bella shift onto half of my body. The movement caused her aroused scent to smash into my awaiting nose.

She circled her tongue against my nipple and I groaned when she took it between her teeth. She raised her head and dragged her tongue across my lips, begging her entrance. I thought in that moment, as a strange coil formed inside of me, that she would never need to beg again.

My mouth opened and welcomed her frantic tongue. As we tasted each other, it felt as though her lips were melting into mine. Her whole body was melting into mine, and I needed to have her unbearably closer.

After a long minute she broke the kiss and her head fell to my shoulder where she laid silky wet kisses. My member pulsed haphazardly in my hand and I imagined that it was Bella's hot grasp around me. Urging me on towards my release.

'_You have no idea how mind-blowing you look right now' _she whispered against my shoulder.

I groaned, her breathless voice sending new spasms towards my groin.

'_I wish it was me making you feel like that' _she whimpered and my eyes found hers.

'_Touch me,' _I said, my husky and hoarse voice surprising me somewhat. I wasn't sure if it was a wise idea, but I knew beyond comprehension that it was what I needed most in that moment.

She obligingly moved her hand towards my now stilled one and removed my firm grasp, replacing it with her scorching palm. She deftly wrapped her fingers around me and moved speedily, not quite as fast as I had been moving, but the feeling of her blistering hand around me was infinitely better than any supernatural speed that I could manage.

I cried out in bliss as the faint rumblings of my release began to echo from within me. My hips jutted upwards and downwards in time with the movements of her hand. Instead of a loss of control nearing me, I felt a loss of being.

My whole body and mind were focussed upon one thing and one thing alone and that was the inevitability of my angel opening the floodgates of heaven and pure ecstasy, pleasure and harmony would replace every thought in my mind. I felt reluctant to go forth and allow the emancipation from my body and mind, but the ultimate and unavoidable conclusion rocked through me unexpectedly.

I howled a throaty snarl as my euphoric state trembled and shook me into a void where I felt like nothing existed but my release spilling out onto Bella's hand.

Her hands slowed to a stop and with my eyes still closed I heard her lean over to her night stand and grab a tissue. My body trembled and I felt unusually warm. I felt satisfied and whole. My entire body and mind thrummed with the excitement of having just lost control, of the man and gaining a brand new control over the monster.

'_So,' _she began as she cleaned herself up and I opened my eyes to take in her flushed beauty. _'Did you lose control?' _She waggled her eyebrows.

'_Very much so,'_ I laughed, _'You proved your point.'_

I reached my hands forward and smoothed them along her thigh. Her humoured eyes suddenly grew serious and she collapsed against my lips. My mouth immediately parted this time, with no hesitation. It felt freeing to know that I could be this intimate with Bella and be aware of the fact that however strong the monster was, our love was stronger and nothing, not even my otherworldly strength and bloodlust was going to penetrate that barrier.

She continued her gentle open mouthed kiss and circled her tongue around mine; I returned the kiss without trepidation and with an equal amount of lust. It felt absurd that mere hours beforehand I was worried about even going as far as to kiss her properly and now it felt like the most necessary and inevitable aspect of being closer to her. A rivulet of venom crept into her mouth and she moaned at its sweetness.

She craned her neck as I teased and licked and kissed every part of her swan-like throat, from the amazingly sensitive area below her ear that twitched underneath my ministrations, to the fragrantly potent hollow in her collarbone.

As soon as I had turned my attention to a new area of her body, another part cried out in neglect. I could not attend to her fast enough. Every miniscule part needed to be loved and caressed, it was the very least I could offer, as undeserving of her as I was.

'_Mmm'_ she whimpered into me as her legs moved to either side of my waist. Her fingers weaved into my hair and it felt as though she was using every ounce of her remaining strength to pull me into her. It felt wonderful.

My hands crawled up her thighs once more, gripping and most probably bruising the flesh there. I found her soft, downy pubic hairs and ran my fingers through them, feeling her body tremor; I lingered there for a little longer than was strictly needed. I pulled her off me and lay her down upon her back; she seemed to understand and parted her legs for me.

'_I love you.'_ I said, as my fingers stroked tentatively along the inside of her slick folds. She went to kiss me again but only managed an open mouthed moan as my deft fingers found her throbbing nub. I stroked slowly at first, revelling in the pained whimpers that escaped her mouth regularly. I caught it between my index and middle finger and squeezed lightly which ushered an adorable yelp as she almost leapt up off the bed.

My rhythm sped up and I could feel her bucking against my hand, when her head fell back I stroked the hair out of her face and I took this opportunity to kiss from her collar bone to her breastbone. I ripped the fabric of my shirt away with my teeth and found her rosy nipples. I took one into my mouth whilst still maintaining a perfect rhythm upon her increasing wetness.

'_Oh my god'_ I heard her moan, along with something unintelligible.

With that I inserted my two fingers deep inside of her, using my thumb to rub her clitoris. Her tight passage, felt so soft and fleshy yet vulnerable against my stabbing fingers, yet as I added another finger, she only moaned louder. My hand nearly fully encased within her warmth was flat against her now and she moved her hips against it causing a hardened friction against her lower pubic bone.

The absolute beauty that shone through her pleasured state was so natural and human. She chewed on her lip as if she was concentrating on something desperately difficult to understand. I felt my arousal reawaken at the simple feel of her against my hand. Her velvety channel hummed against my fingers and her clitoris beat a continuous pulse against my thumb.

This must have felt good to her because as she sped up the movement of her hips, her eyes glazed over and she grabbed onto my biceps to pull herself up against my shoulder. She bit down hard upon my granite flesh. The screams that now erupted from her were wholly instinctive and equally as erotic and as her walls tightened around my fingers her whole body tensed and she moaned; replete and satisfied as the tension was immediately replaced by her body falling limply back against the bed.

'_Oh' _she panted huskily, _'Oh, Edward.' _She lifted her head and began kissing me. _'I love you, too.'_ I didn't think that I would ever tire of hearing her say those words.

The hunger in me somewhat muted by her pleasure being met was abruptly rekindled by the pressure of her small fingers pulling at the waistband of the slacks. They fell lifelessly from my body. My erection sprung free and bounced against my stomach. Her heavy lidded chocolate eyes never left mine as she removed what was left of my shirt exposing her naked and flushed body to me.

I positioned myself at her impatient entrance and let the immense significance of this moment wash over me.

'_Are you sure?' _I asked enigmatically and brushed her hair out of her face before kissing her lips nervously.

'_I am sure, more sure than I have ever been of anything,' _She replied sincerely and smiling weakly.

'_I love you, my angel,' _I told her once more as I pushed myself slowly inside of her. Inch by inch we moaned in unison and as I hit her virgin barrier she closed her eyes tight in expectant pain.

'_I'm sorry.' _I whispered. My pain was distinctly of the emotional kind as the thought of causing her unnecessary harm clawed at my insides. I pushed deeper breaking past her wall and she cried out in agony.

I stilled myself, initially to allow her to grow accustomed to the feel of me buried within her, but instantaneously due to the fact that I smelt the fresh blood of her broken hymen pool inside of her.

I fought strenuously to regain my self-control. The smell smacked me in the face and I was enraged with myself for not anticipating this outcome. The scent swam around my head, taunting me and forcing me to feast.

The thought of pulling out, bending down and gorging on the forbidden blood was banished from my mind as I felt her weight shift beneath me. I looked into her anguished face and saw a single tear fall from her eye and trickle slowly down her cheek. I kissed it away, the salty flavour even more intoxicating and heady as every one of my senses felt multiplied somewhat.

'_Are you OK?' _I asked, unsure whether or not to make any sudden movements.

'_It hurts, but keep going' _was her strained reply.

'_Tell me if it gets too much.' _

'_I will_' she said and kissed me hard on the mouth.

I withdrew slowly and re-entered her even slower, allowing myself to feel the actual sensation of being inside of her this time. The feeling of moving within her was unlike anything any man or vampire could admirably describe. I was consciously aware of her pain lessening as I kept my slow pace both for her sake and my own.

Her moans became ones of pleasure and her hips began meeting mine thrust for thrust.

**BPOV **

'_Are you sure?' _He asked me, I couldn't help but inwardly laugh at the ridiculousness of his question. As if he needed to ask it in the first place.

'_I am sure, more sure than I have ever been of anything.' _

'_I love you, my angel,' _he said the words as if they were the most precious thing he had ever uttered and achingly entered me.

The pain was uncomfortable but tolerable as he eased himself deeper inside of me, but I knew the worst was yet to come. I moaned in pleasure at finally feeling him inside of me. There was no going back now.

His girth stretched and shaped me around him, a perfect fit and I was slowly growing used to the unusual feeling. He paused as it felt like he had hit a wall inside of me. I closed my eyes tight and dug my nails into his upper arms.

'_I'm sorry,' _he whispered and quickly forced past my blockade. I felt ripped in half and couldn't stop myself from crying out as the burning hot pain gushed through my lower abdomen and sent tremors throughout my body.

I felt him stop and remain still and I was glad for the recovery time. I could not open my eyes. I did not want to look into his worried golden orbs and not be able to cover up the immense pain I was feeling. I breathed slowly allowing my body to adjust to his size buried deep into the hilt of my centre.

I wriggled slightly beneath him and felt him dip his head and kiss a tear away from my face. It was the most gentle and loving kiss, it made me feel safe within his arms, it made it feel safe to have him inside of me and it made me feel safe enough to want this to carry on. Rationally I knew that the pain would pass and I would be awarded with pleasure.

'_Are you OK?' _He asked agonized and worried. It was the love I felt in his words and his gentle caress that gave me the courage to persevere.

'_It hurts, but keep going.' _I replied with faux endurance.

'_Tell me if it gets too much.' _God, how I loved him.

'_I will,' _I said and kissed him roughly on the mouth.

He began to pull out of me slowly and inch back inside. I could tell that it was taking all of his strength not to force a faster rhythm upon me. He withdrew again and entered me smoother this time, my body somehow sensing the invasion before it came. His palms were flat against the mattress as he waywardly found a slow but persistent pace.

I began to relax and I felt the pleasure begin to overwhelm the pain. I realised then that I was just lying there doing nothing to seek his pleasure out. I parted my legs wider and raised my legs up into a bent position, meeting his thrusts to equal the lethargic pace.

I moaned as the new angle hit a different spot within me and I hungered for an increase in the friction. I realised then that Edward was very silent. I looked up into his indignant eyes, it seemed as though he was struggling with something. He didn't look to be enjoying himself very much at all.

'_What's wrong?' _I asked between thrusts and moans. I brought my hand to his hair and weaved my fingers into the soft waves.

'_I just – I am afraid I will fall on you.'_ He laughed. 

'_How about we try this differently?' _I rolled him onto his back and straddled his hips, his rigid and ice cold erection never leaving my body. He raised his eyebrows and I bent to kiss his lips. _'This way you won't be scared about crushing me.'_

Although he seemed confident that he had mastered his bloodlust,I knew the fear of his strength was barely touching the iceberg of things that he was scared about but this new position seemed to relax him to some extent.

I stayed bent over him kissing his mouth and laced my fingers with his in order to have something to aid the movement of my rhythms above him. Yet another new angle awoke another different sensation as a different part of my passage was lovingly massaged. I moaned into his mouth and he growled low, I could feel the rumble of his chest against mine and it only added to the intensity of the situation. The grip of his hands helped me pull myself off and push myself down.

**EPOV**

The pace of her downward thrusts remained slow as she writhed above me. I was glad for the pace as her rhythm allowed me to memorize every movement. I could I imagine, that had she been a vampire this would have been over long ago.

She was beautiful in the throes of pleasure, I had learnt this during the course of the night but now I got to experience it with her. I got to match her with thrust after thrust deep within her throbbing wet warmth.

**BPOV **

It was unhurried. The pain still echoed deep within me, but it was surpassed by the immense emotion I felt of feeling him inside me. I slowly rode him, almost lethargically and kissed him tenderly.

My sticky body glided smoothly against his marble torso and the ice temperature of his skin sent welcome shivers through me. There was no chase this time, no scurry to meet a climax; the moments purely existed from one minute to the next.

The feeling was indescribable, as left me and entered me, time and time again. I was stunned as the unrelenting force of his deliberate thrusts sent a different wave of pleasure through me each time.

**EPOV**

Her heated core fit around me perfectly and each time I hit the hilt of her inside walls I succumbed to a low moan. It seemed that the act of making love owed itself a separate kind of intensity to any other kind of expression of love.

It was all encompassing and truly unspoiled. It was not just an inevitable action, it did not exist only to fulfil a pleasure and it was not just an effective pursuit of release. It was about experiencing the love you felt for another person through the most intimate and precious way.

**BPOV**

I felt my insides curl and tangle into an entirely insistent feeling. My walls quaked and throbbed against Edward's length. He brought my face to meet his loving eyes and I fell into the protection and absolute devotion that shone through his gaze.

I felt about ready to plummet into an uncontrollable fit of sobs, but in my haste to let the moment overwhelm me I was suddenly stopped by his words.

'_I will always be yours.' _He said gently.

My body shivered and trembled as I allowed the simplicity of the words take hold of me. The warmth that flowed through his emotions made up for the frosty touch of his skin and I found myself warmer than I had ever been in his embrace.

His face fixed with passion and I felt his hips rear harder towards me. The pace increased immensely and I kissed him with fervour, my tongue tasting his and drinking in his syrupy breath. I felt faint and alive at the same time.

My stomach broached the dizzying affect of my very real and very near orgasm and I did not resist it as I had before. I allowed myself to feel the tremors of it wrecking through me, taking over my mind and making me feel completely filled and exultant. It was interesting to experience it as something well known by now, but still wholly new, by allowing and almost liberating its existence.

My inner walls clamped down upon Edward as the utter force of my climax took hold of me and I forced my eyes upon his as the pressure of my passage tightening around him pulled him over the edge as well. He grabbed the head board behind him and I heard a loud crack as the wood split down the middle.

We called out each others names, moaned and sighed. Shot after shot of his release poured into me and he looked elatedly happy as my shaking lips met his. We fell limply against each other and my hot sweaty body immediately began to cool against the blanket of his naked stony flesh.

I rolled off him and whimpered softly at the feeling of his softening length leaving my raw and worn centre. I curled up against his side and he put his arm around me protectively. My legs entwined with his and our free hands laced in and out of each other as we played with our fingers.

There was no need for words.

We were silent for a long time.

Then he spoke.

'_I have never felt that… happy before.' _

'_I know what you mean' _I replied, with a giddy smile.

He turned my chin up so that my mouth could meet his in a tender and chaste kiss.

'_Thank you,' _He whispered against my mouth.

'_I love you,' _I whispered back.

He began to hum an unknown tune whilst he stroked my hair and tightened his embrace around my waist. As the tune carried on I felt compelled to replay the nights and mornings events through my mind. And as I drifted off into a silent slumber, my head firmly rooted into the crook of his neck, I felt anticipation and excitement. Nothing was the same now and everything was going to change.

**A/N:** Thank you to all those who have read and reviewed. ILY all!


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